How the Mighty Have Fallen
by StarTrekFanWriter
Summary: After movie. The galaxy and the crew of the Enterprise face unforseen consequences of the destruction of Vulcan & Human-Vulcan mindmelds Jim's got problems . S/U in progress. Collection of short stories.
1. LN324 Part 1

**DISCLAIMER: I Don't Own Star Trek. And I'm not making any money from this.  
**  
After the Narada: Jim has Spock in his mind, literally, and is trying to rebuild a friendship that hasn't yet existed. Spock and Nyota are still not officially bonded -- but want to be. Meanwhile, the crew of the Enterprise and the galaxy is coming face to face with unforeseen consequences of the destruction of Vulcan. Non-Slash. Established S/U. May be rated M later for very mature themes...but if you want an instant rush of smut, read "Once Bitten" or "Vulcan Kissing".

**LN324-Delta : Part 1  
**  
Things were as they should be. Walking down the hall of the ship that was his ship, in this and any other time line, with Spock, his friend, his best friend, everything just felt right to Jim.

"...we'll be at LN324 in a few hours," Jim said. "You know, one of my other buddies from the Academy is stationed there, Doug...oh God, I can't remember his last name. Doug Hsu...Yeah, brilliant guy. Can drink like a fish too.

"According to Doug LN324 is phenomenal...Its rare to find a gas giant that supports life in its clouds."

Spock turned his head and looked at him. "Indeed, as I expressed earlier, I have been quite interested in visiting LN324 for some time."

Jim smiled, "Yeah, you'll like it. You'll like Doug too."

Spock raised an eyebrow. Jim was getting good at reading Spock's eyebrows. This eyebrow was up in disbelief.

"Ha. Trust me. Drinks like a fish, but mad about everything relating to LN324. You'll be able to talk cloud surfing organisms, atmospheric gas ratios, planet core composition, the natural subspace signals generated by the planet and its white dwarf star, anything...I'm sure you'll find him fascinating."

They came to Spock's quarters. The half Vulcan turned and nodded at him before entering the door. "I will trust you on this, Jim. But right now, I have had a long day, and I would like to take advantage of the few hours before we reach LN234 to meditate."

Saying this Spock turned and waved his hand over the doors controls. The pneumatic door opened with a hiss. Not stopping to look back Spock entered his quarters. Without thinking Jim followed right behind him...purely out of habit.

...a habit from another life.

Lieutenant Uhura was just coming out of the bathroom. She was clothed. Barely. She wore a man's black button down shirt that looked vaguely familiar -- actually, Jim remembered seeing it on Spock...

Open to the navel, it just barely reached the tops of her thighs. It did cover her breasts...well -- mostly. For a heartbeat Jim and Spock regarded her, and she regarded both of them.

Sometimes Jim wasn't in full control of his mouth. "Meditating, huh? So that's what you call it." In another life it might have cut the tension...in this one...

Spock turned on his heels and faced him with a gaze that was painfully familiar. Very painfully familiar. Jim swallowed. He forced himself to look Spock directly in the eyes.

"Captain, if you do not mind, please...get...out."

"Ummm...yeah...I'll see you on the bridge as soon as we reach LN324."

Spock said nothing but tilted his head. Jim noticed the half Vulcan's nostrils were flaring. Right. Time to go.

Not taking his eyes off Spock he backed out of the door. "Sorry about that, Spock," he nodded in Spock's direction. "Uhura," he was about to nod in her direction too, then thought better of it and just nodded again at Spock.

He needed a drink.

x x x x

The only thing that was keeping Nyota from fuming was the fact that Spock was fuming. Someone had to keep their head.

If just about any other crew member had been in Spock's quarters at that moment they would not have been aware of Spock's frame of mind.

He did not yell. He did not show physical signs of anger -- or what would be interpreted as such by human standards. Standing with his head bowed, hands clasped behind his back he might look like he was simply in contemplation.

But if one looked really closely they might notice Spock was breathing too regularly. Carefully inhaling deeply through his nose Spock held each breath for a count of fourteen seconds. Then he slowly exhaled for a full count of twenty one seconds through his mouth. He was trying to regain control of his emotions.

She sighed. Kirk was a good captain, and generally respected boundaries. He hadn't flirted with her since that day when he'd seen Spock kiss her in the transporter room -- well, he hadn't seriously flirted with her. Jim's brain was permanently wired to flirt, to him it was just friendly. But nothing beyond the odd innuendo. No proposals. And certainly no physical contact.

Being in a position of authority, had not made Kirk more arrogant and cocksure, it had done the exact opposite. He'd become a little more humble in the past few months. And while obviously still out to be the top dog and lay down the law he respected his crew, their opinions...their time...their personal space.

The only person whose personal space Kirk did not respect was Spock. Walking into Spock's quarters was just the latest incident. Kirk would sit down in the mess with Spock without asking, was constantly slapping Spock on the shoulder, running to catch Spock in the hall when they were off duty...and in general just being just a little too close.

It was as if Spock scrambled Kirk's brain somehow. A few days ago Kirk had said to Spock, "Are we still on for chess tonight?" Even though Spock and Kirk had never made plans...and to the best of Nyota's knowledge Kirk didn't even play chess.

It was weird. Actually, she found it really weird. But he was the captain now. And in all other respects a good one.

Apparently, Spock's 'other self' had told Spock that he and Kirk were destined to do great things together. And so for his part, Spock gave Kirk some leeway. Perhaps that had not been wise. Perhaps if Spock had been a little more forceful about establishing boundaries the incident this evening would not have happened.

Nyota took a moment to take stock of the situation. Vulcans, despite their outward cool were intensely emotional -- and in particular, extremely territorial. Not only had Kirk just violated Spock's private space, he'd also seen her, his mate, in a state of semi-undress. His natural instinct, buried deep under thousands of years of Surak's logical teachings, would be very, well, violent. Now Spock appeared mostly calm, but she knew inside he was fuming. A fuming Vulcan was not a good thing...especially one that apparently needed to be on the bridge with her in less than two hours. The trouble was, how to diffuse the anger?

Now would be a great time to have an established telepathic link between them. But the last time they had tried a mind meld there had been...complications. Spock and Nyota both desperately wanted an experienced healer to be present for the next attempt. Especially since it was barely four months since the destruction of Spock's home world and his emotional control was still fragile.

She would just have to improvise. Walking up to her beloved she gently whispered, "Perhaps I should have shown a little more skin?"

Taking a sharp breath Spock lifted his head in surprise.

Nyota gently pulled back the collar of the shirt she was wearing to reveal the large red welt on her shoulder...the one he'd made with his teeth, the one that marked her definitely as his.

Her half-Vulcan lowered his head to gently kiss the welt. The sound of purring tickled Nyota's ears.

x x x x

"Approaching LN324, Captain," Uhura said.

"On screen," commanded Jim.

The image of a small white disc of a space station suspended above slowly swirling blue and purple clouds appeared. There was a collective intake of breath from the crew. It was beautiful. Of course, after a few months in space, anything that was not blackness and emptiness took on a certain poignant beauty.

Uhura was distracted for only a moment. "The signal for medical assistance is still being broadcast...but no one is answering our hail, sir."

Spock had worked an earlier shift, but he was here on the bridge at Jim's invitation. He was standing behind Uhura, but now went to look over the shoulder of the current acting science officer.

Sitting in the command chair Jim brought a hand to his chin. There could be a hundred reasons for an unanswered hail. Jim didn't allow his mind to ponder over negative scenarios that may have befallen the crew of the station and his former drinking buddy. He focused on getting to the bottom of what was actually going on. "Okay, Chekov, fill the bridge in on the situation."

"Approximately eight hours ago a Doctor Zenak, a member of the Vulcan Science Academy hailed Star Fleet for medical assistance from deep space station LN324 - Delta." Chekov said, "Other than the doctor, LN324 is currently manned by four members of Star Fleet: Commander Robert Gomez, Lieutenant Commander Susan Lee, Lieutenant Doug Hsu, and Lieutenant David Perez."

"Are we close enough to scan for life signs?" Jim asked.

"Coming up soon, Keptin," said Chekov. The Ensign's hands danced across the console. "Keptin...I'm not getting any readings."

Jim heard Spock whisper something to the acting science officer. There were a few beeps and then Spock said, "Captain, there is an energy reading around the living quarters. It appears some sort of force field has been established. It is possible this force field is blocking our scans and our hails."

"What's wrong? Is there a radiation leak in the station? A hull breach?" Jim asked.

The acting science officer responded, "Negative sir. Radiation levels are normal, and life support is optimal."

Jim shifted in his chair. "Well, looks like we'll be beaming in a team to have a look." Jim knew everyone on the bridge understood he was going to be one of the members of that team.

x x x x x

Scotty beamed Jim, Bones, Spock, Cupcake and two more members of security just outside the entrance to the station's living quarters.

The hallway was dim, lit only by emergency lights. Jim barely had a chance to register this before he took his first breath...and had to physically restrain himself from vomiting. As a former farm boy Jim recognized the smell of decay immediately.

Just outside the entrance to the living area where three bodies haphazardly strewn across the floor.

**A/N:**  
I know, we're supposed to write for love, and only love...but you know...reviews really help. Even if they are not loving reviews.


	2. LN324 Part 2

**DISCLAIMER: I Don't Own Star Trek. And I'm not making any money from this.  
**  
**LN324-Delta : Part 2**

One of the security personnel behind Kirk began retching. Kirk's arm instinctively went to cover his mouth from the smell of the bodies and the smell of fresh vomit. In the dim emergency lighting he saw Spock, Bones and Cupcake do the same.

Bones was the first to move. He took out his tricorder and went to the bodies. "All human. All male. They appear to have died due to asphyxiation."

The doctor put his tricorder back in his belt. Stepping between the bodies, he put one hand over his mouth and gently turned one of the prone forms. His eyes closed momentarily and he looked up at Jim. Bowing his head Bones said, "It's Doug."

Jim's jaw clenched. He was too amped on adrenaline right now to feel sorrow. That would come later. Right now his brain focused on looking for possible causes for his friend's death…and trying to keep himself from vomiting.

It was possible that the life support in this area of the station had temporarily malfunctioned. That would explain why the two remaining member's of the station team were holed up behind the security field in the living quarters.

"Okay, Lieutenant Giotto," Jim said to the large security guard he mentally thought of as 'Cupcake', "How do we get past the security field?"

Cupcake was already scanning the door to the living quarters where the security field began. "I'm on it now, Captain."

Spock stepped over and looked at Cupcake's tricorder. "It is possible if we reset our phasers to..."

Just then the hallway's normal lighting came on and the door to the living quarters opened of its own accord.

"The security field just dropped, Captain," said Cupcake.

There was really only one option in Jim's mind. "Let's go."

Cupcake looked at the two security guards behind Kirk and Bones, nodded, and then turned to Spock. Both Spock and Cupcake took out their phasers and stepped through the door.

A moment after they disappeared. Kirk heard the sound of Cupcakes heavy footfalls running beyond the door.

Then Spock's cool voice came from the other passage. "Hallway secure, Captain."

Bones and Kirk stepped through the door...and it immediately closed behind them. From the other side of door came the sound of pounding by the two security personnel they'd just been separated from, and then a light electrical hum.

Kirk's hand immediately went to his comm. "Kirk to Enterprise. Enterprise come in."

There was no response. Without any orders from him Spock moved to be point man.

Cupcake ran to the door and took out his tricorder. "The security field is back up Captain. We won't be able to hail the Enterprise or beam out now...Captain, I'm also detecting two life readings down the hall and to the left." Cupcake motioned to the end of the hallway where Spock stood.

Right. There was only one thing to do now thought Jim, "Let's get moving gentlemen...we're going to have to figure out what's going on if we want to get out of here."

The four of them moved down the hallway. Spock stayed on point, Cupcake covered Bones and Jim from behind.

One of the things about being Captain was that whenever you went anywhere, you always wound stuck in a security sandwich. There often wasn't much for Jim to do but stand or walk between his appointed guards and wait for someone to die or be injured so you could make an important decision. Sometimes he really wondered if Spock didn't have the better job.

Ahead of them a door opened. Bones looked at his tricorder and over to him and said, "They're in there, Jim."

The opening faced a closet, so the room's occupants weren't visible from the hallway. Spock went through first stepping to the left and out of Jim's view. Yes, the first officer's job was definitely more exciting…

From the other room came a voice that wasn't Jim's first officer, but was as calm and serene as Spock's ever was. "I did not expect a Vulcan. She needs a doctor."

Bones was past Jim and through the door before Spock could even give the okay. Not hearing any screams Jim decided to follow. He knew Cupcake would keep their exit covered.

The scene that met Jim took the air out of his lungs.

There was a male Vulcan, sitting cross legged on the bed, wearing only a loose pair of trousers. Jim would have said he looked to be in his mid thirties, of course he was Vulcan…he was probably older than that. The Vulcan had a human female's unconscious head in his lap, and was gently massaging her temples. The rest of the woman's body was draped by a sheet. It was obvious to Jim's experienced eye that she was naked underneath.

Something in a corner of Jim's brain was just screaming _wrong_. The Vulcan's intimate movements and the woman's near nakedness were just so incongruous somehow. Vulcans just didn't sit around half naked with completely naked women and invite in four strangers.

Of course Vulcans also didn't attack you on the bridge for being a smart ass, slice you with large sickle like weapons, or grind your body into red dirt...where the fuck were those thoughts coming from?

"What the Hell happened to her?" Bones was grumbling, scanning her fast with a tricorder. "Broken ribs, multiple abrasions..."

The Vulcan ignored Jim -- and Bones and Cupcake too. He spoke directly to Spock. "They really need physical contact, much more than us. I did not understand that before. She does not want me to leave her."

Spock had his phaser down at his side. "You must come with us," his first officer said softly.

"I would like to explain first," the Vulcan said.

"Please do! What the Hell, happened here?" said Bones.

Not responding the Vulcan bent down towards the unconscious woman. Jim could see green marks in the white skin of his back and shoulders as he leaned forward.

"You are Doctor Zenak, are you not?" asked Spock.

The Vulcan nodded. "It came on so suddenly...I did not expect it. My bond mate died on Vulcan, and it happened so fast there was no where to go."

Jim's mind was buzzing...what came on suddenly? He knew the answer to this, didn't he?

"I have always had high regard for Lieutenant Lee. When my bond mate died, the regard only grew," said Zenak.

"What's going on here, Captain?" asked Cupcake. "Is he hurting her or helping her?"

"I'm not sure," said Jim. The Vulcan's movements were so gentle, but the scratches on his back indicated that there had been some sort of struggle.

Cupcake whispered in his ear, "I can set my phaser to stun..."

Suddenly Zenak snarled, "Do not fire your phaser! You might hurt _her!_" What came out of his mouth next could only be described as a long growl.

Jim instinctively took a half step back, and cursed himself. Wasn't he just mentally complaining about being the baloney in a security sandwich? He looked to the side and noticed Bones and Cupcake had also dropped back half a pace.

His first officer on the other hand had stepped forward, put his phaser in his belt, and outstretched a hand to the other Vulcan. "Doctor Zenak, you must leave her. You must allow the doctor to help her."

Zenak took a deep breath and closed his eyes. The low growl in his chest dissipated. "I had to bond with her. I could not allow her to think I was only an animal." Jim watched as the Vulcan looked up at Spock as though he was the only other person in the room. "You know, they do not feel as deeply as we do. But they do feel. She loved me...she loved me...if I had only known before..." His eyes closed.

Enough of this. There were three men dead in the hallway. "What happened to the other members of the crew?" asked Jim.

Doctor Zenak opened his eyes. "I killed them."


	3. LN324 Part 3

**DISCLAIMER: I Don't Own Star Trek. And I'm not making any money from this.  
**

This chapter disappeared! I reloaded it, so you may have gotten 2 alerts for this chapter. I am VERY sorry. That sucks, I know.

**LN324-Delta : Part 3**

Kirk felt his stomach twist in a knot. He felt more nauseous now than he had back in the hallway with Doug and the other three human's bodies.

The cool, calm way the Vulcan said_ 'I killed them'_...

"You sit there so collected and say that without remorse...what is wrong with you!" snapped Bones.

Zenack spoke softly head bowed to the sleeping woman in his lap. "You incorrectly infer I have no remorse." He looked up at Spock. "I thought if I killed them, I would not hurt _her_. Do you understand? I _had_ to protect _her_."

"Of course," said Spock. "I understand."

Bones said, "Well that makes one of us..."

But Kirk found he almost did understand...kill...bond...the woman's naked body beneath the sheets...

"I wanted to give them painless deaths," Zenak said, "I wanted to control myself, my urges. I shut off the life support and erected the forcefield..."

Jim heard Cupcake and Bones swear. Jim should have been swearing too, but more than rage right now he felt nausea. His memories were spinning...he had been here before, with Spock hadn't he? But Spock had not killed anyone on the ship...

"...I thought that would cool the fever..." Zenak continued. "But it did not. It is just a theory...but perhaps the fever demands flesh on flesh?"

He said these last words as though discussing a hypothesis about transwarp physics.

Kirk's mind spun. Flesh on flesh...rolling in the dirt...and his mouth began to move, "...fever...killing...mating...this is that Zon Farr thingy...isn't it Spock?"

Spock turned suddenly to face Jim, the Vulcan on the bed also looked at him.

Jim's mouth was on autopilot, "No wait, Pon Farr...this is his Pon Farr...every seven years...mate, kill or die..."

"Captain?" said Spock.

"What the Hell are you talking about Jim?"

"You told them?" snarled Zenak at Spock. "You will turn us all into animals!"

Jim kept going, the thought once begun, was like water falling over the edge of a cliff. "You know...on Vulcan...remember Bones...when you helped Spock kill me the first time...when T'Pring ordered him to challenge me."

The nausea in Jim was quelled. All the pieces of memories were now in their proper place, not spinning around in his brain. He was fine now.

Cupcake looked at him. "Captain?"

"Jim..." said Bones.

Spock tilted his head -- a motion that Jim remembered from another life meant 'we will discuss this later'.

...Or maybe Jim wasn't fine.

Spock turned back to Zenack. The Vulcan was staring at Spock, the snarl erased from his lips now. Zenack shoulders sagged.

His first officer spoke, "I understand why you have done what you have done. But now, to protect her, you must let us give her medical attention. Come with us."

"She does not know..." Zenack said, "She does not know what I did to the others. You will find a Vulcan healer for her?"

"You have my word," said Jim's first officer solemnly.

Zenak dropped his head. "Computer, drop forcefield. Zenak code alpha-six-eight-nine-three-beta-one."

From outside the doorway Kirk heard shouts and approaching footfalls.

Zenak gently lifted the woman's head in his lap, slipped gracefully out from beneath her, and lowered her head to the mattress. He stood and approached Spock, his head bowed.

The woman on the bed began to stir.

Suddenly Jim's comlink crackled with Uhura's voice. "Enterprise to away team, do you read?"

The two remaining security personnel ran into the room.

"We read you," said Jim. "We are alright Lieutenant. We will begin transmitting transporter instructions in a few minutes."

Kirk looked at Cupcake, and motioned towards Zenack. "Get him to the brig." Vulcans were as strong as three adult human males he remembered. "All three of you," he added.

The security personnel surrounded the Vulcan, Cupcake contacted the Enterprise and the Vulcan and redshirts were whisked away in a haze of transporter energy.

As soon as the Vulcan was gone the woman on the bed suddenly lunged upright. The sheet fell from the top half of her naked form. For the first time what she had endured became evident to Jim. Her body was covered with bruises and bite marks.

"Zelnack! Zelnack come back!" she screamed.

Jim took a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair. Some how a very, very, very bad situation just got much worse.

He looked at Spock. His first officer who had known exactly what to do a few minutes ago was now staring at the floor, hands behind his back.

Bones was approaching the woman with a hypospray.

She turned and snarled at the doctor, "Get that thing away from me!"

Somehow, hitting a woman who had just been raped with a hypo seemed like the wrong thing to do. She had already been stripped of enough choices.

Jim said softly, "Bones, put the hypo down." He turned to the woman on the bed and held up his hands at his shoulders, "My name is Jim Kirk, I am the Captain of the U.S.S. Enterprise. We were called here -- by Zenack if I'm guessing right, because he thought you needed medical attention..."

She looked down at her legs, still draped in the sheet, and then wrapped her arms around her chest. "Yes, yes...you are right, he did..."

Jim took a step forward, "What is your name?"

Spock said, "Captain this is..."

Jim shot his first officer a warning glance. Spock drew back.

The woman on the bed did not look up, "Susan Lee, Lieutenant Susan Lee."

Jim was now just a foot from her at the side of the bed. He didn't like towering above her. It gave her the wrong message. "Lieutenant, may I please sit down?"

He was half surprised when she nodded, not looking up.

He sat down and she gazed up at him. She was Eurasian Jim noted. She had almond shaped Asian eyes, but they were a surprising blue gray. He guessed she couldn't be more than in her mid thirties. Even under bruises he could see she had an attractive face -- wide cheekbones, full lips. Not stunningly beautiful...but attractive.

Susan held his gaze for a moment, and then looked to Bones, and Spock, and back to Jim. "You think he raped me, don't you?"

What could any of them say? Jim stayed silent, as did Bones and Spock. Should he have Bones beam down Nurse Chapel?

"Well he didn't." Susan took a deep breath. "But he did something else that was bad...didn't he?" She closed her eyes and looked down at her legs again. "I can hear him. I can hear him in my head."

Spock spoke up, "We will get you a Vulcan healer. They can assist you in unbonding. We can help you...get him out of your head."

Susan looked briefly up at Spock, and then back to Jim. Gazing straight into Jim's eyes she said in a pleading voice, "But I don't _want_ him out of my head."

Jim felt his forehead furrow. He held out one of his hands to her, he suddenly knew what to say. "I know...once they get in there...you're no longer alone, right?"

Susan nodded at him and took his hand tears starting to well up in her eyes. "I don't want him gone...he loves me so much...and I love him..."

Very gently Jim reached forward and brought her to him in a soft embrace. "I know. I understand."

**A/N:**  
No this is not slash! If you can't handle love of the non-sexual variety between men GO AWAY NOW. Thank you.

...and if you are interested in Spock's little biting thing check out **Descartes Ch:35 Love Bites **... or** Once Bitten** and if you're interested in his first conversation with Nyota about Pon Farr read **Descartes Ch. 56 State Secrets**


	4. Fair and Balanced

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of these charachters**

I did some research. At any one time 1.3% of the U.S. population is abroad (this does not include U.S. military). I halved that number and used it to determine how many Vulcans would be off planet. (6Bil x 0.65%) Then I presumed that more of those would be male as females of childbearing age were more likely to be near their extended families on Vulcan. (TOS Spock left T'Pring behind).

This would make Spock not really an 'endangered species', but it is more realistic...and well, maybe with Pon Farr they would become endangered fast…  
**  
Fair and Balanced**

"Hello, this is Falan - Galea coming to you live from the Subspace News Network.

"We have just had reports of an attack on a human female from a Vulcan male. She is currently in a coma in Mar's Colony 2's Mount Sinai Hospital. The Vulcan male willingly gave himself in but died shortly after being taken into captivity."

"Wait, hold on...I've got breaking news coming in...SNN has just learned there has been another Vulcan attack. This one took place apparently just eight hours ago at deep space station LNN324. All male human crew members were killed...it appears the only female crew member was assaulted. The Vulcan is currently in Star Fleet custody.

This is the tenth such attack since the fall of Vulcan, and New Vulcan has still not issued an official statement.

Only 10,000 Vulcans survived the attack on the homeworld...but there were over 39 Million Vulcans offworld at various Federation worlds at the time...over 29.5 Million of them are male. Are you and your family safe?

SNN will have a special report at 22:00."

x x x x x x x

"Hello, you're back with the News Hour with Terence Kling, we're here with Doctor Benjamin Bradshaw.

"So, Dr. Bradshaw, you say that these attacks we're seeing are the result of some sort of male Vulcan fertility cycle?"

"Yes, Terence, something like that. Details are still emerging but some Vulcans have resisted the calls for silence from New Vulcan and come forward.

"Apparently every seven years male Vulcans go into what can only be described as heat. It lasts for approximately seven to ten days. They become extremely violent -- and when I say violent I mean extremely violent. The reports of killings and brutal attacks are unfortunately not completely false.

"To end the cycle the male Vulcan must mind meld with a female and copulate or they will die."

"Dr. Bradshaw, when you say 'copulate'...well, we've heard that these 'copulations' are...intense. There are reports of women being taken to emergency rooms...lacerations, bruises...broken ribs."

"Vulcans are three times stronger than human males and during this cycle all of their physical demonstrations tend to be exaggerated."

"I see."

"Which is why preferably the female in question is Vulcan, however if a Vulcan female is not available Vulcan males may seek out a human, Romulan, Klingon, or most tragically an Orion. This time is known as Pon Farr...I must add that there there are some reports that fighting another male to the death will end the cycle as well."

"And how come we haven't heard about this until now?"

"Well, Terence, Vulcans are an extremely closed species. They do not talk openly about such things. They have carefully guarded outsiders access to information on Pon Farr and as a culture took many steps to make sure we'd have no reason to know. Vulcans used to bond their children at age seven, this would ensure that they had a partner when the need arose."

"When the need arose...it would be fourteen years old then?"

"Not necessarily, apparently it depends on the individual. Maybe fourteen, maybe twenty one, maybe later...but always in multiples of seven.

"At any rate, the bond was telepathic and when the need arose the bonded mates would meet, there would be a ceremony, the happy couple would be secluded for seven to ten days and then spend a year together on Vulcan strengthening their bond.

"Unfortunately, the destruction of Vulcan was particularly devastating to elderly Vulcans, children, and female Vulcans of childbearing age as they were more likely to stay on Vulcan when their mates were stationed off planet."

"So there are now too many males."

"In a nutshell, yes. We estimate that there are approximately 147 million unbonded males outside of the new Vulcan colony at this time. Of those every year about two million will experience Pon Farr and will need to seek a mate...or die."

x x x x x x x

"This is San Paolo's Subspace News...to all you Brazilians stuck off planet somewhere...Good morning! Today we have an interview with a local mixed species soccer team whose Vulcan goalie went into Pon Farr. Think you know how the story ends? Think again! Our Davi Fujimori is live on the scene for the story!"

"Thank you Iara, as you can see I am at the San Paolo Amateur Soccer Club...this is where the mixed teams come to practice and play. Right now I'm here with a team that is calling itself 'The Vulcans'. This is Thiago, team Captain...Thiago, can you tell me about your team, your team mate Dalnar, and what happened?"

"Right, well, we've got ten people on our team. Eight humans, one Andorian, and one Vulcan. At our last meet Dalnar, our Vulcan goalie, he got angry...angry man...at one of the calls the ref made. I mean he's Vulcan...they don't get angry...so we figured we knew what was happening."

"Thiago, were you and your guys scared? I see your team mates shaking their heads no..."

"Davi, man, we were scared _for_ him. He's been playing with us for three years. He's not real expressive or anything, but you know...he's one of us. He's a great goalie. We knew if he got the ref and hurt him he would go to jail and he would die...that's whats happening to them now...

"We didn't know what to do, we just had to stop him. So we all just piled on him...we weren't organized, we weren't thinking about it...we just did it."

"And what happened?"

"Well, you know they're contact telepaths right? Well, I guess he could kind of feel how scared we were for him...and we could...this is weird...we could kind of feel how angry he was. You know it was incredible to feel what someone else is feeling..."

"I see your teammates agreeing with you."

"...but there were more of us than of him and its like we could temporarily take away his anger...or maybe it was just our fear that pushed his anger away...anyway, he calmed down long enough that we were able to get him off the field."

"As I understand it he had a girlfriend?"

"Yeah, yeah...Davi, and she stepped up to the plate for him..."

"So it was serious?"

"Well it is serious _now._"

"You've seen Dalnar since that day?"

"No, but we visited the hospital where he and his girlfriend...bond mate are being monitored. They said they're both doing okay...hopefully he'll be back in a week or two."

"So Thiago, you named your team 'The Vulcans'?"

"Yeah, well, you know, one of the things we felt from Dalnar was how ashamed he was...and we don't want him to feel ashamed. He's our the best goalie we've ever had...we just want him not to die, man. Anyway, we renamed our team in his honor."

"It looks like your teammates have something to say..."

"Yeah...ready guys...one...two...three..."

"GO DALNAR!!!! VULCANS RULE!!!!"

x x x x x x x

"You can't be serious, O'Riley!"

"Look, all I'm saying is that they should be required to wear a collar...it should have an identifier that lets everyone know how old they are...and every seventh year they should be locked up. I don't care what a great and noble race they once were...now they're rapists and killers...if that is too much common sense for you don't watch the Patrick O'Riley show!"

x x x x x x x

"Thank you for calling, you're on the air with Guss Linbow"

"Thanks, Guss. Personally, I think they should all be rounded up and sent on shuttles to new Vulcan. We don't need their kind here on Earth, Guss."

"What about people who say that is an infringement on their rights, what about people who say it's illogical?"

"I think they can go to Hell."

"Okay, well personally, I don't agree with you. I think they can stay. There are good Vulcans out there...or Vulcans that are good most of the time. I've met them. But I don't think they should be mating...or bonding...or whatever they call it...with human women. That is a crime against nature, it doesn't produce viable offspring without genetic manipulation.

"They can stay, but they should be monitored -- it should be paid for by a tax only on Vulcans. And if they go into Pon Farr on Earth without a suitable Vulcan mate they should be prepared to die."

x x x x x x x

"So, let me get this straight for our viewers...Ashanti you're human, Tyback you're Vulcan, and you two have been together since before the destruction of Vulcan?"

"Yes, Veronica, Tyback and I met at Star Fleet Academy, over a year and a half ago now."

"According to my PDA five hundred sixteen days four hours and seventeen minutes ago."

"Whoa, there's romance! I wish my husband remembered the minute we met like that, Ashanti."

"Ummm...."

"Okay...Well, you two have been together through Pon Farr?"

"Yes."

"That is correct."

"I see...and you're both still here...no permanent damage..."

"If one's mate is determined early preparations and restraints can be devised and trauma minimized."

"Look, Pon Farr happens Veronica...but it doesn't define the relationship Tyback and I have. In terms of problems it is way down on the list."

"What is the number one problem on the list?"

"Well, since the destruction of Vulcan and the hysteria...the number one problem has been the ignorance Tyback and I have faced. I don't know how we'll find a place to live after we graduate, no one rents places to Vulcans anymore. We get jeered at on the street sometimes. Everyone thinks I'm crazy for being with him."

"Wow, that must be so painful for you...Tyback, you looked unfazed."

"I am Vulcan."

"But that doesn't mean it doesn't bother him. If you look at the numbers, statistically, the attacks are rare. You're more likely to be killed or raped by a human or an Orion than you are by a Vulcan in Pon Farr."

"That's what a lot of Vulcan defenders are saying...."

"Well why not, it's true. Most Vulcans entering Pon Farr without a mate are committing suicide...the reports of them throwing themselves out of air locks are true...but they don't get as much air time."

"Okay, well to wrap it up, you think the biggest problem Vulcans are facing now is ignorance."

"Yes. It's especially hard when Tyback and I get it from friends...and family."


	5. Healing Part 1

**Disclaimer:** I don't own these characters (well maybe Jabari...but he's not the type to be owned.)

**Healing - Part 1**

"You know we like Commander Spock, we're very grateful to him," Nyota's father said across the subspace channel. "But we are worried about you."

"Mom, Dad, his mother was human...she survived. Pon Farr is something that happens _to_ them. It doesn't define who they are," Nyota responded.

"Nyota," her mother said, pressed tightly against her father so she could fit in the screen. "You know we've never interfered with your personal life...but this is just...too much. It's not just him you'll have to live with. It's the discrimination you'll face from everyone around you. Think of what your children will go through."

"We just really think you should reconsider," her father said.

"I'm still bonding with him," Nyota replied flatly.

...but it hurt not to have her parents' support.

On another subspace call her brother Jabari was more blunt.

"What the Hell, Ny! You're still going to bond with him? He lied to you, he lied to me about this thing!"

...and this was harder to turn away from, because it got to the heart of something that _was_ bothering her...a little.

"Spock didn't lie, he evaded. He thought that he would never experience it, so he didn't think it would affect me...us."

"What do you mean he thought he would never experience it?"

So she told him. Jabari was one of the only people in the universe who had intimate first hand experience with the time line distortion.

"So _your_ Spock has never experienced Pon Farr, except maybe a bit of a twinge...but nothing that resulted in a ten day fever, homicidal tendencies or the need for an extended bout of mind fucking and violent copulation?"

"That's a really nice way to put it, big brother."

"Hold on...I still need to make sure I get this all straight...but Spock from the other timeline swirled your Captain Kirk's brains around in a mind meld and now _your _Spock knows what happened to the other him...and the other him hit 35 and went Pon Farr and killed the Kirk from the other timeline, or thought he did anyway..."

"Spock told me about it as soon as he had the story from Kirk."

"Ny, can you see how that isn't exactly comforting to me? Look, you say he didn't believe that he'd experience this...But was it that, or was he just afraid to tell you?"

She sighed. "I think he thought he wouldn't experience it...apparently his other self thought he'd escape it in his own timeline too..."

"Da Nile ain't just a river in Egypt..."

"_And_ I think he was afraid to tell me. Look what has happened since the word got out."

"Yeah, well, people are afraid. Vulcans get violent Ny. They get out of control, and the sexual assaults aren't just physical."

"You do realize, Jabari, that as Africans, two hundred years ago, it was our 'uncontrollable violence and sexuality' that people were afraid of."

"That's a bullshit argument, Ny. For our ancestors it was a stereotype...for these guys it's an established fact. They will go Pon Farr and they will get violent."

"Jabari, his mother survived it...apparently if you plan..."

"He didn't tell you. You've got to be a little bit pissed about that, Ny?"

"Jabari, I'm a lot pissed! But I'm still going through with the bonding."

"Don't just bond with him out of pity, Ny. He's got six years to make other arrangements."

It wasn't pity that made her want to complete the bond with Spock. But she did think that it might just be that she was going crazy...or had gone crazy a long time ago. Not that she would ever tell her brother that.

When the subspace call with Jabari ended her tiny cabin suddenly felt claustrophobic.

Her brother's words seemed to hang in the room. They made Nyota hurt for herself, and hurt for Spock. Jabari and Spock had almost gotten along. Maybe if she gave Jabari a chance to calm down. At least he hadn't called Spock Mad Dog...or maybe that wasn't actually a good thing.

With an angry sigh Nyota headed out the door towards the observation deck. Maybe the change in scenery, or just the act of moving would clear her mind.

But as soon as she left her cabin she felt like she was being watched. Nyota kept her head high and her eyes focused straight ahead. It had to be her imagination...she'd heard second hand about the broadcasts on SNN and others...but surely the Enterprise crew knew Spock?

...and then she realized that they did know Spock, and after his bout with the captain on the bridge they were sure to be able to believe the reports of Pon Farr. They'd see Pon Farr as just another Vulcan psychotic episode. So much for the reputation of calm and control he'd worked to build his whole life.

Arriving at the observation deck she let her eyes wander out to the swirling blue and purple globe of LN324. They were still orbiting the gas giant. The space station hovered near the Enterprise, a white Frisbee spinning on an invisible string around the planet. Spock was at the station now, working with the Enterprise science team to fill in for the station's crew while Star Fleet found replacements. Star Fleet said it would be three weeks. Kirk was saying that meant six.

The Enterprise team was being aided by Lieutenant Susan Lee and Dr. Zenack. A mobile console had been set up in the brig for Dr. Zenack. Lieutenant Lee worked from there with him. After what she'd been through, in the end no one had the heart to turn her away.

The ship's psychologist called it Stokholm Syndrome. McCoy said it was hobgoblin mind sorcery.

Spock had contacted his father and had been able to find a healer that he felt would be suitable for Susan...and for Kirk, although the Captain and the Lieutenant were both resisting Dr. McCoy's and Spock's pressure to seek attention.

The healer was due to arrive here within the next few days. She would stay with the Enterprise until replacements from Star Fleet arrived -- and a ship with suitable security to handle a mass murderer. Not that Dr. Zenack had been anything but helpful since the incident. He'd been the very picture of Vulcan decorum and complicity since his arrival on board the Enterprise.

The healer would also be available to help in the event of mishap in Spock and Nyota's bonding...if they chose to go through with it. If Kirk was right in his assessment of Starfleet Bureaucracy it would give Nyota six weeks to decide whether she_ really _wanted to go through with the bonding.

This was actually something Spock had proposed. Nyota had already made up her mind a long time ago. Or maybe her mind had been made up for her.

A pair of ensigns walked behind her on the observation deck.

_"They say she's going to marry him."_

_"Kind of kinky and masochistic...they're brainwashed you know..."_

This time she wasn't imagining anything. She turned sharply to the young woman and man...young being relative, they were probably her age. "For your information, I hear you," she snapped.

They apologized and scurried away.

Stares and whispers. Was this a tiny taste of the rest of her life?

And if she was experiencing this, what was Spock facing?

She needed to talk to someone who wouldn't think she was crazy...

**A/N:**  
Jabari appears in Chapter 43 of Descartes: Arrivals

Thank you for reading ... once again. Reviews are much appreciated.


	6. Healing Part 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the charachters in this chapter.**

**Healing - Part 2**

Nyota pressed the door chime for the third time...not expecting anyone to be home at this point, just out of pure frustration.

Leaning her forehead against the door she took a deep breath. Spock was still at the space station, and she really didn't want to be alone. She didn't want to go to the mess hall either; she'd had enough of stares for one day. She wanted to be with someone who wouldn't think she was out of her mind...or at least with someone who was out of their mind with her.

Suddenly the voice of the man she was looking for echoed down the hall. "Lieutenant Uhura? Are you waiting for me?"

She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, turned around and snapped to attention. "Yes, Captain."

"Oh."

She noticed he wasn't wearing his gold shirt.

"At ease, Lieutenant, we're both off duty right now." He put a hand to his face and wiped his eyes. She noticed there were dark circles beneath them.

She let her body relax and stood staring at him. It was uncomfortable. It was awkward...and maybe it was a bad idea. They hadn't really spoken in a non-professional manner since the Academy...and they hadn't exactly been friends there.

"Sorry," Jim...the Captain...said. "I was just off talking to Lieutenant Lee..."

He was apologizing to her for not being home. It was odd. Was this the same guy who had been heavily breathing under her bed at the academy?

No. Of course not. None of them were the same now.

Down the hallway came a wide eyed ensign. The ensign stared at them in a way that was comically obvious because she was trying so hard _not_ to be obvious.

The captain put his hands on his hips, looked down at the floor and bit his lip. "You wanna come in?" He asked motioning towards the door with his head.

"Yeah." Anything to be away from the stares.

As soon as the door whooshed closed Nyota asked, "How is she?"

"Susan? Oh, well, for someone who has discovered that the man she loves is a mass murderer who killed three of her coworkers...she's doing really quite well."

There was no anger in Kirk's voice. He would be justified to be bitter, to indulge in a rant about Zenack...but he didn't. Had he always been so forgiving?

"I'm sorry about Doug, Captain."

"Yeah, well...so am I...and call me Jim. Do you want something to drink? I've got some Bushmills..." He walked towards a bookshelf.

"Maybe that isn't a good idea."

He turned back towards her. "Oh. Yeah. What about some coffee? I'm not going to be sleeping anytime soon."

For some reason a part of her wanted to be maternal, wanted to tell him to skip the caffeine and get some obviously needed rest. But she resisted. "That would be great."

"Okay, all I've got is black though." And then he squatted down in front of the bookshelf and wonders of wonders pulled out a genuine coffee maker and a bag of what she guessed was coffee. And then standing up he started to prepare a real honest pot.

"What will happen to them?" she asked.

"Well," Jim answered, "He's been very cooperative. I think they are classifying most of these cases as temporary insanity. He'll probably get charged with manslaughter, get some time, twenty to thirty. But he'll most likel get out early for good behavior...there are talks of furlough programs for them..."

"And Susan?"

"She wants to wait for him."

"What does Zenak want?" Nyota asked.

"Well, he _was _pushing for her to let the healer erase her memories...so was Spock..." Jim said taking the coffee pot over to the small in cabin sink and filling it with water.

"Sometimes, Vulcans can be stupid." Nyota said.

Jim snorted. "So you think so too." It wasn't a question. "Yeah, well," he continued, "Susan isn't going to do that."

"And how are you, Cap -- Jim?" Nyota asked.

He shrugged gazing over at the coffee pot now bubbling on the shelf. "Well, if I don't get over my mild schizophrenia...Bones is worried about me. You know he doesn't care much for the whole Vulcan mind meld stuff. But even he is saying that I should consider having my memories of the past mind meld with Spock, old Spock, erased."

"You won't do that will you?" Nyota asked, suddenly afraid for him.

"No, I'll never do that," He said softly. "Even if it means losing my commission."

She swallowed. Of course, a captain couldn't be having bouts of schizophrenia while in command. But to lose a piece of your life forever? Weren't all the little pieces what made us whole, the good and the bad? If you lost a piece...could you ever be complete again?

"Spock did say something, about the healer being able to create a partition," she said, "...so that your memories and the other Spock's memories...so they didn't get confused."

"Yeah." Jim said nothing for a few moments. He looked at the coffee pot filling with water, then turned back to the book shelf and retrieved two mugs.

Filling one for her and one for himself he motioned for Nyota to sit down at the small table in his quarters. After she'd settled he followed with the mugs of steaming coffee in his hands.

Sitting down across from her he said, "But I'm afraid of even the partition...I mean, maybe the reason I've been able to do so much so fast isn't because of me...maybe its because of him...and maybe he needs free reign..."

She stared at him. She knew that he was no longer the same guy from the Academy, but for the first time she was taking in how different he really was. There was no arrogance in him now -- and no confidence either. But there should be.

"You were on the path to saving this ship and saving our planet even before the other Spock gave you the mind meld..." she protested.

He took a sip of his coffee and smiled cockily, and for an instant the old Jim was back. "Yeah, well that was easy. Spouting my mouth off to authority, taking down the drill...then getting beat up by security, nerve pinched by Spock, and nearly eaten by ice creatures...that was nothing. All in a days work." He shrugged. "Even getting in the fight with Spock on the bridge and beaming aboard the Nerada...really, it was nothing."

He said the last part with such sincerity. She raised an incredulous eyebrow remembering the bruises Spock left on his neck, the uniform that had been wet with blood when he beamed back from the Nerada...

"No really..." he said getting quiet, "That _really _was the easy part. The bureaucratic bullshit that happened afterwords, coordinating the rescue missions to look for survivors, handling the stress of our crew, and contacting the families of the deceased...talking to their mothers and fathers...You know how mature I most definitely am not. That wasn't me."

"Who was it then?" she asked.

"The other me, or the old Spock's memories of me..."

He didn't deserve all this doubt. "Both of whom, are also you."

Kirk stared at her, grimaced and took a sip of coffee. "Wow," he said, "I can see why he keeps you around. When you aren't using that talented tongue of yours to lash out..."

Nyota took a sip of her coffee. "When I have lashed out, there's always been good reason."

"No." He said point blank.

"What? Name it?"

"Well, Miss African Princess, I remember when you suggested that a certain white trash Iowa hick didn't know what Xenolinguistics was."

That actually hurt. She had been condescending towards him. He had obviously been a guy who had led a rough life, one very different from her own. At the time she even felt bad about it, which is why she had given him a chance to redeem himself...which he had failed miserably at.

"That certain hick wasn't taking no for an answer. And later that night, it wasn't so much that he fell on my breasts...it was that he leered," she snapped.

Jim took a sip of coffee. "Okay, touché." Then he took a deep breath and said, "We really got off to a sucky start."

She nodded. "Yeah."

He sat up straight, put his hand on his chest and looked at her, "Hello, my name is Jim, Jim Kirk. I have currently conned my way into a position as Captain of the Federation Starship Enterprise...but you can call me Jim -- when you're off duty."

Nyota raised an eyebrow. "My name is Nyota Uhura, Lieutenant Nyota Uhura. I am Chief Communications Officer on the said same ship the Enterprise. Off duty you can call me Uhura." She shrugged apologetically, "Only Spock calls me Nyota."

"Nice to meet you Uhura," Jim said and held out a hand.

She shook it. It was cool, rougher and broader than Spock's. "Nice to meet you Jim."

"And to what do I owe the honor of your company this evening, Uhura?"

"Well, I've just had two days of listening to the news holos tell me what violent savages Vulcans are. Had to face two days of stares and whispers from my ship mates -- probably due to said same news holos...not to mention an incident that touched the lives of some of our crew, and I have just had two conversations with family members who have tried to dissuade me from bonding...that is mind melding, with Spock. And..."

Jim stopped her, "Wait, you haven't mind melded with Spock yet?"

"No...we tried...but it was at a time when things were...bad...we were both upset. It didn't work...we were waiting for a healer to preside over the ceremony..."

"I thought the telepathy thing was something that just happened when you were in a relationship with a Vulcan," Jim said through a haze of coffee steam. He had a look of genuine concern on his face.

"Well," Nyota admitted, "We do other things..."

Cue the entrance of the real James T. Kirk. "Sounds kinky!" he said with a wide smile.

For a minute she glared at him, and then rolled her eyes. "Yeah, well," a smile slipped involuntarily across her face, "Sometimes..."

"Tell me all!" he said leaning across the table.

"Was the other James T. Kirk such a...such a..." she had no words.

Jim had many words. "Lewd bastard? Pervert? Flirt? Gigolo? Ladies man? Playboy? Womanizer? _Rascal?"_

She opened her mouth in disbelief, "Rascal?"

"Yeah, I like it. Kind of old fashioned and mischievous....the answer is yes. And no."

"...and no?"

"He wasn't a bastard like me. He slept around almost as much...but he wasn't a womanizer. He just really enjoyed sex. He cared...in his way. I guess I do too...but..." he shrugged, "He had no mommy daddy abandonment issues. He came from a happy, healthy family with two parents who loved each other and him.

"I don't want to lose the other me, or Spock, the old Spock. All the memories are in my head...just there mingling with my own...I don't know, its like the mentor, the father I was craving all my life...he's there now. Unfortunately, sometimes I don't know where the other Jim and the other Spock end and I begin.

"This probably isn't what you want to hear if you're going to be bonding...mind melding...with Spock...is it?" he asked.

She put her elbows on the table and dropped her head. She had no doubt she would bond with Spock but...

"No, its..." she began.

Suddenly Jim's mouth was on full tilt. "You're not actually thinking of _not _going through with it are you? You guys...you guys are, I dunno, weirdly perfect for one another. You both can be so condescending..."

"Ouch," she swallowed, "I thought we'd started over."

"Yeah, we did...I'm sorry...I blew it..."

He looked down at his coffee cup. "You should bond with Spock, he's great. To know him is to love him..."

"Do you mean that?" she asked, afraid for a moment that what she'd mused about was true.

"Come on. He's logical. Brave. He's forgiving and loyal until the end. …" he shook his head.

She scowled…that was it? "You left out that he is fun…you know, witty...curious…"

Kirk stared blankly at her.

She sighed. "Is it because of the mind meld, the telepathy...or do you love him for who he is. Because...sometimes...it seems so inevitable...sometimes I wonder." She stared at the table.

"What is it Uhura?"

She looked up at him. It was probably his eyes that got women in trouble with Jim. His eyes gave him a look of disarming innocence. They were such a bright, startling blue, and right now they were staring directly into hers.

"Remember, I told you we do other things?" she asked.

He nodded, this time serious.

"Spock has trouble communicating his feelings..." Nyota said.

Jim raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, understatement there," said Nyota. "He also has trouble reading humans, even me sometimes. So he links with me...that's what we call it."

She shook her head, "We create an empathetic connection through our fingers -- and he can read my emotions, and physiological state, and broadcast his...so we don't have to talk about emotions."

"Physiological states, huh? I can see the kinkiness potential there..." He raised both eyebrows, and took a sip of coffee, but his voice was neutral.

Nyota said, "Yeah well, sometimes I think that even if it wasn't a mind meld...maybe it was. Maybe he's been steadily massaging my neurons into something that fits him just right..."

"And maybe you've been steadily massaging his."

She stared at Jim. From the very beginning she had reached across the link to touch Spock's mind. Spock hadn't told her to, she had just done it...out of curiosity. It was something Spock had found intriguing from the start. Apparently Nyota was the only human that had done so. How many other humans -- in all probability how many other _women_, had passed up on the opportunity she didn't know.

"I hadn't thought of that," she admitted. "I do...humans...we can bump back in there..."

"Huh." It wasn't a question. He took a sip of coffee and stared down at the floor.

Neither of them said anything for a few moments.

"So you feel like you love him, but wonder if it is just because of the telepathy-empathy-bonding thing you do," Jim summarized.

"Don't you think that is what happened with Zenack and Susan?" she asked.

"No."

"No?"

Jim looked down. "No, I think they both had feelings there to begin with, but of course he couldn't show them in a normal human way. And she was too respectful of his Vulcan heritage to tell him how she felt. When he did meld with her he was able to keep the murders of the other crew out of his mind...for her it was just...finding out the guy she loved loved her back...

"Don't worry," he added, "The mind meld doesn't make you love...I mean, T'Pring, Spock's original bond mate..."

"She was around in the last time line?" Nyota asked. "She...they...ended their bond when he was twenty-one...because he wasn't a real Vulcan or something..."

"Well he dodged a bullet in this time line then!" Kirk shook his head and leaned back in his chair, "She was around in the other time line. They were bonded until he was thirty-five. She was the one that made him kill me. Or try to kill me. She wanted some all Vulcan guy..."

He shook his head. "Bitch-and-a-half. She never liked him. When she was in there…" He thumped his head meaningfully. "It was like walking around with a rock in his shoe...only it was in his brain. No, telepathy doesn't necessarily engender love..."

Nyota smiled softly. It had been what she wanted to believe, but had been afraid to. "Thanks, Jim."

He nodded and sipped his coffee.

He'd given her all that she needed. She shook her head still smiling. "He tried to kill you in this time line and the other...and you still want him in your head," she marveled.

"Yeah. Go figure," he said quietly putting down his coffee mug. He slapped his hands together and looked down at an empty spot on the table. "Well, he is my best friend."

And suddenly he froze, and looked up at her, fear in his eyes.

Nyota realized she'd caught Jim, the brave, cocky savior of Earth, accidentally, in a moment of terrible weakness. What had Spock lost in this life? His home world, his mother...and now the public awareness of Pon Farr was completely stripping away public faith in his Vulcan dignity.

But what had Kirk lost? His youth. He was too young to carry the burdens of a starship captain -- although he was, with fortitude and grace underneath a rough swagger. And he'd lost his family too...in a way, wasn't that a world?

...and both Spock and Kirk had lost something else.

Kirk was probably the one person on this ship who wouldn't think that bonding with Spock was the wrong thing to do. He had given her reassurance in her own sanity, even if he was, perhaps, envious of the closeness she had with Spock in this time line. He was the good friend to the end.

She couldn't fix the schizophrenia in his head. She didn't know what to say about Vulcan healers and partitions. But maybe there was something that she could try and fix right now. Something they all would need.

"Come with me," she said softly.

**A/N:  
**If you like this Kirk/Nyota interaction and would like to see a romantic take (I won't go in that direction) go to my favorite stories and click on "The Rest is Rust and Stardust." Best. Kirk. Nyota. Lovestory eva.

Also, started some random drabbles for Descartes...maybe will start some for this story too. Reviews are always great...even when they're not. So fire me off a note.


	7. Healing Part 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own Jim/Nyota/Bones or Spock**

Healing - Part 3

"I do not know what aggrieves me more Nyota, that you choose to play behind my back, or that you do so in public," said Spock.

Jim felt his muscles reflexively tighten…

Uhura apparently felt no unease. "I told you Spock, I wasn't playing your game anymore. It's time for you to find someone else. I'm just helping you along."

Jim decided to be brave. "She's just showing us your moves." He smiled up from the 3D chess board.

Spock eyed Jim, and then Bones, who just happened to drop by a few minutes ago on his way to get some dinner.

Kirk watched Spock's eyes rove around the mess hall. They were here, in a public place, so that they didn't step on a particular half Vulcan's territorial toes. Uhura had decided coffee at Jim's place was more than enough.

As the half Vulcan's eyes moved the eyes of other crew members invariably fell to their own plates. They'd been staring at Spock, Kirk realized. He could reprimand them for it...or would that make the situation worse? There were no memories in his repertoire to deal with this situation.

He did know that Spock didn't like to be made a fuss of though.

He looked back to Spock and found the half Vulcan's eyes resting on him. Then Spock's eyes went to Bones and back to Uhura. "But a threesome, Nyota?" Spock asked.

His voice was at its driest Kirk noted. Huh. This Spock did apparently have a sense of humor. Weird. Weird that he had one. Weirder that it could be slightly off color. Weirder still that he was choosing to reveal it. Weirdest that it cut the sorrow Jim felt in his gut on Spock's behalf for the stares and the pain they must be causing the guy.

There was only one way to respond. Jim smirked obligingly and Bones snorted.

Uhura smiled. "McCoy just happened to be in the vicinity, Spock. We couldn't _not_ let him watch."

Jim looked over to see Bones rolling his eyes.

"I see," said Spock.

Jim moved a pawn and Spock followed the play with the same intensity Jim had seen cats follow the movements of a bird.

"You idiot," said Bones, "You just gave her your pawn."

"To the contrary," said Spock, "The Captain is no idiot."

Evidently he saw the logic behind Jim's play.

"Spock, if you see what he's up to maybe you want to take over?" Nyota asked.

Spock eyed the chessboard. "You have left us at quite a disadvantage, Nyota."

Nyota looked up. "Had to make sure you had a challenge. This is only about the third time Jim's ever played this game."

"Indeed?"

"Yep!" Jim stretched and ran a hand through his hair, "But Uhura has told me that if I ever start really losing I should just intersperse the game with distracting questions."

Nyota added, "You can also play for time...3 minutes between moves is good...and have Bones or me ask the questions. Time... Questions...5D chess if you will." She smiled up at Spock. "I might even find it fun."

Spock nodded at her, held her gaze for just a few lingering moments, and then his eyes shot back to the chessboard as though it were some strange Vulcan-eyeball-rotating magnet.

Nyota stood up and Spock seated himself without even glancing at the chair.

Jim wondered what sort of questions it would be best to distract Spock with. Too many personal questions were out...So that left the square root of 1,729? The genus and species name for banana slugs?

"So, Spock," Bones suddenly asked. "Ever own a pet?"

Hmmm...that might be safe.

Spock tilted his head. "I did own a sehlat once."

Ooooh...this could be safe...and good. "And what, pray tell, is that?" asked Jim.

"Its sort of like a teddy bear..." said Uhura with a giggle.

"Awww...." said Jim. This was beyond good.

"A teddy bear!" said Bones apparently thinking the same thing.

"A teddy bear with six inch fangs," Spock said proceeding to move a rook.

Kirk smiled -- he remembered that from somewhere...

Maybe the universe was righting itself. There were four of them now. Not quite the 'holy trinity' he had dubbed the friendship between him, Bones and Spock in the other time line. And yet...with four there was never a third wheel...and _this_ Spock needed all the friendship he could get.

Jim looked up as a few members of engineering stared a moment too long at Spock as they walked past their table. He gave them his least sincere smile and they looked away embarrassed.

His thoughts were interrupted by his first officer. "It's your move, Capt...Jim."

**  
A/N:**  
Just had to finish up this little arc. Yes, my Spock is funny, and a bit of a BAMF.

Last chapter I said that in the other timeline Kirk didn't cheat on Kobayashi Maru, but he did. Changed that!

Also, this isn't really a continuation of Descartes. Its just a series of random post StarTrek '09 ideas that ran through my mind. But will try to remain true to the Descartes Universe.

Finally, lot of disagreement on female Vulcans and Pon Farr out there. From no they don't, to yes they do, to yes they do but only when bonded, to yes they do but it isn't as intense...so...right now I'm not changing that.

If you're wondering about why there is no Vulcan point of view...working my way from outside in here. Or maybe I'm just putting it off because I hate writing Vulcans. Especially Spock...can't stand writing from his point of view...

Original 5D chess game is in Descartes Chapter 19 - Checkmate. No previous Descartes experience req'd (Cause yes, Descartes is a monster...but a lot of it is little stories within a big story).

Reviews are how I get paid for this...so if you enjoy, or don't, let me know.


	8. The Betrayal

**Disclaimer: I don't own Starfleet**

**The Betrayal**

**3 DAYS BEFORE THE EVENTS OF LN324**

Teleun sat behind the podium of the Vulcan High Command Representatives of Earth.

Below him and the other six members of the council stood, Nirsh Skann Tyback, a second year Cadet in Starfleet Academy. The only other Vulcan in Starfleet besides Commander Spock -- if one considered Commander Spock a Vulcan.

Teleun knew of Tyback. As a Vulcan on Earth Tyback was an embarrassment to his species. Like Spock, Tyback was deficient. Whereas Teleun considered Spock's deficiency to be a lack of emotional control -- he'd been on the board that reviewed Spock for the Vulcan Science Academy, Tyback's deficiency was intellectual.

Tyback had the memory of a human...an average human. That is why he had not been taught Standard, and why on Vulcan he had been regulated to the position of mechanic on a research farm. Unfortunately, for some illogical reason, Tyback had studied Standard on his own. He had even managed to reach a proficiency that allowed him to communicate crudely with some visiting human researchers. Encouraged by these humans, who no doubt saw his disadvantage as a novelty, Tyback had applied to Starfleet...and due to the interventions of Commander Spock had been accepted.

Now Tyback stood before Teleun and his fellow representatives in a simple Vulcan tunic and trousers, hands clasped behind his back. If the rugged Vulcan with too broad shoulders and dusty olive skin had any shame for his inappropriate clothing, his mental deficiency, or the fact that he was Nirsh Skann -- of no family, Tyback's face did not register it.

It was illogical, but Teleun found this lack of shame...disappointing.

Nor did Tyback's voice register any nervousness or servility when he spoke in a rough provincial Vulcan dialect that branded him as uneducated and unrefined. "Honored representatives, in the past two weeks not one, but two accounts of Vulcan madness have been reported by subspace news. Two humans have been murdered. One human female has been raped. But we have given the humans no explanation."

Teleun kept his face placid, but he was shocked by Tyback's directness. How dare he make such a statement? He was intellectually handicapped, without the wisdom of age, and was obviously incapable of having mental access to the full history of his people. It was beyond illogical.

D'Zorack, the representative next to Teleun spoke, "This is not a matter that should concern you, Tyback. It is a matter for the High Council to deliberate on."

"I beg to differ. It is a matter that concerns me. The longer we do nothing, the longer we say nothing, the longer we deliberate the more humanoids may die or be injured. If we do nothing these atrocities are more our doing than of the ones who are gripped by the madness of Pon Farr."

Murmurs arose around Teleun but Tyback continued to speak. "Humans are vengeful...the more violence accumulates the more they will seek retribution."

"Which is precisely why we are being so careful in our deliberations. The revelation of Pon Farr, if there is to be one at all, must be carefully orchestrated and not done lightly," said one of the representatives.

Tyback spoke without hesitation. "Though my life experience is limited to just barely twenty one years I have also found humans to be compassionate. If we ask for help...or at least acknowledge the problem, they will seek to aid us. And even if that were not the case, they should be allowed to protect their own."

"Do you realize over the years how much time, resources, and care we have undertaken to conceal this shame and maintain the supremacy of the Vulcan race?" another of Teleun's colleagues said.

Tyback's response was more controlled than Teleun's collegue's has been. "Pon Farr is natural, it is inescapable, and for that reason we should not be ashamed to face it. It is illogical to be ashamed of something you cannot change."

At the words 'Pon Farr' there was a collective intake of breath across the dais. Teleun's stomach roiled. How could one speak such heresy with such calm?

Teleun spoke up now, "Nirsh Skann Tyback, this matter does not concern you."

"But it does concern me, honored representatives. I will not allow any more blood to be on my hands."

More murmurs rose from the crowd.

"Are you threatening us with exposure?" Teleun asked.

There was no emotion in Tyback's voice. "No, I am not threatening. I am informing."

"You are not informing us," said D'Zorack. "You are trying to blackmail us. Speak truthfully Tyback. You are in your twenty-first year, you are disadvantaged, unbonded, and you have no place on The List."

For once Tyback did not respond immediately. He stared at D'Zorack for a total of five quiet seconds, and then he asked, "The List?"

"The list of genetically superior unbonded males in need of mates," D'Zorack responded coolly. "If you do what is wise, and remember where your loyalties lie, you may find yourself a place on that list. Do you understand my meaning, Tyback?"

"My memory is deficient, honored representative, not my powers of deduction," Tyback said. "You are attempting to bribe me."

There were low murmurs from the council. Teleun heard a hiss of 'genetically undesirable...' and 'waste of valuable a female...'

Vulcan hearing was acute. It was impossible for Tyback not to hear these low insults.

Perhaps they affected him because Tyback drew his arms from behind his back and looked down at his hands -- Teluen noticed how indelicate they were. Too wide, broad short fingers...not a scholar's hands at all.

"Gentlemen," the rough young Vulcan before Teleun said, "You need not worry about putting me on your list."

Tyback lifted his left hand to his shoulder...there was a brief flash of light, a bit of shine, from the second to last digit...it took a moment before Teleun realized the source was a ring. Tyback looked at the ring and then at Teleun, D'Zorack and the other council members.

Comprehension began to dawn on Teleun...

"The ring is an affectation I wear on behalf of my human wife. Thank you for reminding me where my loyalties lie...honored representatives."

And then Tyback stretched his left hand into the symbol of the Vulcan salute and said without a trace of any emotion, "Live long and prosper."

**A/N:**  
Tyback is a very special Vulcan. You can read his story in Descartes: Chapter 63: Tyback.

Thanks so much for reading! Thank you VERY much for reviewing. If you liked this, or didn't, I would love to hear from you. Reviews are how fan fiction writers get paid!


	9. Bonded

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters mentioned here.  
**  
Approximately 2 months after the events of LN324/6 Months after Fall of Vulcan. This isn't a linear story, it is a collection of stories, so I'll bounce around a bit.

**Bonded**

Spock stood above Ensign Chekhov's station. He had just been reviewing some of the Ensigns latest readouts because...well, quite frankly, because he was feeling mentally unstimulated. He was bored.

Spock looked up at the view screen and the field of rushing stars stretched out in front of him. Although space was filled with wonders, it was also filled with boredom. At one time, boredom and monotony had been a time for him to meditate...Now it was a dangerous time.

When he was bored, his mind could wander, and it had a tendency to wander back to the events of Vulcan and try to analyze all the events in minuscule detail searching for each wrong turn, calculating each different path that if he had only taken...

But these thoughts were useless. More useless, he'd found, than even the emotion of grief itself.

Contrary to popular belief, the teachings of Surak were not about denying the existence of emotions. The teachings of Surak were about how one expressed ones feelings outwardly. And Surak's teachings made sense for a violent passionate race such as Vulcans. If one constantly expressed ones emotions it would stir the emotions of ones comrades...things could quickly disintegrate into chaos. So instead, Vulcans had rules about emotional displays.

Once upon a time, Spock had gotten this confused. It was more difficult for Spock to contain his feelings than it was for a typical Vulcan. Because of this frailty in control he had developed a deep hostility towards his emotional nature...and blamed his human side for these emotions. But he'd been slowly forced to recognize that it wasn't his human side that was the source of his deepest passions, the realization had first begun in his relationship with Nyota.

Then having his world destroyed, watching his mother die, his outburst against Kirk...he'd been forced into the deep end of the emotional pool, had to accept that his Vulcan nature was the source of these emotions, and had the choice to sink or swim.

Spock chose to swim.

His father had helped when he gave Spock permission to follow his anger...In the twisted way of the universe that his older self had said was trying to right itself, he'd lost one parent to gain another.

His anger...sanctified by his Vulcan father, and the desire to destroy the Nero, the Narada and the madness that had destroyed one world and was bent on taking another, that had propelled him forward.

But anger had moved him farther than that. He could not let Nero lose the battle only to win the war. He could not let his emotions swallow him. So he hadn't. He faced them. And done what any good analytical Vulcan would try to do. He attempted to quantify them.

...and found that he could not. And that had been a good thing.

....What was a world? His planet? No the loss of the planet was a great and mind boggling tragedy. It was a waste, of lives, of resources, of a sphere in the blackness that was...rarest of rarities, habitable and alive. The loss of Vulcan still filled him with rage...when he acknowledged that rage he realized he was in the perfect position to channel it. On board the Enterprise, which this Kirk had assured him, Nyota, and Bones was, "destined to be at the center of every shit storm in the galaxy..." Here he could help prevent other senseless tragedies.

The loss of his mother though...This had actually cut Spock more deeply than the loss of all of Vulcan.

There was a hebrew Talmudic saying he'd learned, "Whoever _saves_ one _life saves_ the _world entire_."

If this was true, was the opposite also true?

But if it was true, he was not alone.

Everyone on board the Enterprise had lost worlds in the deaths of friends and lovers on the other Federation ships.

Kirk had lost first. He'd lost his father, he'd lost his entire childhood. How other members of the ship had been affected by the ripple of the Narada's emergence in this time line?

They'd all lost an entire universe if one considered the timeline that might have been.

They'd all lost worlds...and the whole ship was in a state of grief, and just as Spock's grief could not be measured, neither could his crew mates.

But grief wasn't necessarily a bad thing.

To be affected by the death of someone you loved...it meant they were a person of significance, their life had meaning.

I am missed...therefore I am? Ahhh...Another thought Descartes hadn't considered...

Spock wouldn't let his grief destroy him. It wasn't what his mother would have wanted, it wasn't what the universe needed, and it would let Nero win.

He would carry his mother's absence as a scar on his heart forever...but isn't that what all children did for their parents? It was a bond all mortals shared eventually.

And speaking of all mortals...

He looked around the bridge. There were no stares here, unlike the rest of the ship. He was less worried about the stares than Nyota, Jim or Bones were. He had more combat experience than they did. He knew how quickly a shared threat would quickly erase prejudices.

Planetside...he would be apprehensive, and might have to struggle to control his unease. He didn't look forward to visits...was deeply apprehensive of seeing Nyota's family...

Here...the stares would dissipate. It was annoying and aggravating, but being nearly 90% certain how quickly human attitudes could change towards individuals, if not races...growing up a child on Vulcan bullied for his human heritage had been worse.

He would be safe here. On the bridge he already knew he was. He wasn't particularly talented at reading humans...but...Nyota was. And he was bonded to her, and through her, the rest of the ship.

Spock turned away from the stars and looked affectionately over at his mate. She had her back turned to him, she was listening intently to something in an ear bud. Her fingers were hovering gracefully next to her ear.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw the Jim smirking at him. He looked the Captain in the eye. Jim looked at Nyota, looked back at Spock and waggled his eyebrows. Spock understood the concept of human teasing. He even knew that in some cases it could denote friendship. Nyota had informed Spock that Jim Kirk would probably gnaw off his own arm on Spock's behalf...an admirable sentiment, really...but...

Spock had no desire to encourage Jim.

He turned back to the stars...and slowly started to wonder if he had just been two point five seconds earlier...

This would not do.

What had he done before to ease boredom? There was something he used to do to pass the time when he and Nyota had been paraded out to endless functions at the Academy....

He blinked. It occurred to him now that he didn't have to do it alone. And it would give him the opportunity to test their newly formed bond...and tease Nyota...

Mentally he nudged...

_3.1415926535 8979323846 2643383279..._

_....Spock, is that you?_ Telepathy was new to her. She actually whispered the thought out loud.

Spock focused on the empty stars. _Where you expecting someone else, Nyota?_ _....5028841971 6939937510 5820974944 5923078164...._

_...Spock, what are those numbers?_

He felt her curiosity and puzzlement.  
_  
I am mentally computing the value of pi. _He responded and continued feeding her his computations_. ...0628620899 8628034825 3421170679 8214808651 3282306647_...

_...Why are you filling my head with pi, Spock? _He felt her realization dawning, and then grudging bemusement. Then she responded in thought and a whisper, _Oh.....you're bored aren't you?_

_0938446095 5058223172 5359408128 4811174502...Bored out of my skull, Nyota._

_Out of your skull..._Across the deck Spock heard her give a short laugh that had hints of a groan to it...and felt happiness at the same time. She whispered and thought, _How long have you been waiting to **think** me that one?_

Before he could respond the Captain interrupted. "Lieutenant Uhura, perhaps you would like to tell us all what you were snickering about?"

Nyota swallowed, "Nothing, Captain."

Jim sighed audibly. "That's too bad...God, I am so bored."

**A/N:**

I don't know if this little one shot is epic fail. I've never lost a world. It may sound shallow, but I think loosing your family would cut more. Its not that we can't empathize with people we don't know...I know I cried a lot over the plights of the Chinese in the earthquake...but only when their individual stories were described in detail. At a certain point beyond our immediate sphere people become abstractions. This is sad, but I think unavoidable (maybe necessary?)

On an unrelated note...I do think that Spock would have had breakdown moments...I'm sure he still does, but I'm not particularly interested in writing about them. I can understand the breakdown part. Been there. Done that. Haven't we all?

The part I want to see is pulling yourself out of grief.

And FYI: Emotional Vulcan Spock appears in Descartes all over but most prominently in "Love Bites - Chapter 35/ Lost in Translation - Chapter 36" He's other places, but those are two of the most explicit I suppose. Also in "Once Bitten".

I really appreciate reviews! If you have any thoughts good or bad, please don't hesitate.


	10. The Seven Year Debt Part 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek**

Just to confirm, this is a collection of stories, not a single story, they all focus on the destruction of Vulcan, and how Vulcans / humans must adapt.**  
**

**The Seven Year Debt - Part 1  
**

_In the hours before the destruction of Vulcan..._

Kavel was sitting alone in the Nightlight cafe on Altos-5, two hundred and sixty three light years from Vulcan, his home world, when the first seismic shock hit him.

He had just returned from a geological survey outside the dome of the biosphere that glittered in the distance. Altos-5 was a virtual vacuum, a class K planet very similar to Mars -- but blessed with dilithium. Kavel was 'on loan' from the Vulcan Science Academy. Although Altos-5 was primarily a human settlement he was here helping in both the efforts to mine dilithium and to terraform the planet. Vulcan needed dilithium too.

As the earthquake rolled beneath him and knocked him off balance in his chair he reached out and grabbed hold of the table in front of him. He clutched it so tightly his fingers ached in a few heart beats and his knuckles went white. Kavel waited for the inevitable clang of plates, rattle of pipes and the cries of panic that inevitably would swell in the little restaurant...but none came.

He was shaking, breathing heavy. He looked around with wild eyes. The cafe was as it always was...except that he had pushed his food to the far end of the table in an effort to gain leverage. People were smiling and laughing. An inane human talk show was playing on the holovision.

And then he knew. The quake had not hit him.

"Are you alright?" a soft voice asked him.

Kavel looked up to see his waitress. Blue gray eyes beneath slouching eyebrows met his own. Incomprehending, cold, human eyes -- in a face framed with hair so yellow it was almost white -- rounded tops of alien ears peeking out from the sides.

He was so far from home.

"I..." Kavel began.

Just then the holoscope stopped and flickered. A news announcer came on. "This just in. We've heard word that there is unusual seismic activity on Vulcan, and all communications from that world have ceased. Starfleet Command has begun relief operations..."

The waitress turned and looked at the holo briefly, then looked back at Kavel.

"You have family there?" she asked.

Kavel's mind was in a blur, he struggled to his feet. Why was he attempting to stand? Where would he go? What could he possibly do. "My wife...my son..."

His body shook with the next quake. Bending forward he grabbed hold of the only steady thing in front of him.

"I'm sure they'll be alright," the waitress said bringing her hands up to clasp his own where they rested on her shoulders.

Normally, such a touch would flood him with her emotions, but at that moment everything was drowned out by the images and words flashing through his mind.  
_  
I am sorry my husband..._  
_  
Pain...weight upon her back..._

_Trying to protect the child with the_ _arch of her body._  
_  
"Aduna..." _Kavel whispered, hands shaking on their narrow perch of the female humans' shoulders.

_His childs body slowly crushed beneath his wife.._.

_Sorrow, shame...loss...his son's fear..._  
_  
I have failed you..._

_Blackness...and dark..._

"No..." Kavel whispered.

He stumbled past the waitress and made his way out of the cafe seeing nothing.

x x x x x x

The day after the destruction of Vulcan Kavel returned to work. His human supervisors tried to suggest he take time off.

"Please," Kavel told them. "Allow me to work. It is the only thing I have left."

He said it without emotion. But he was begging. Obviously. They let him work. He poured himself into the numbers of geological surveys and dove into the descriptions of the latest terra forming dilemmas. Cold numbers and science could save him.

...and they did. But only when he was working. When he was home, alone, his wife's last words echoed in his mind. Did she die without knowing he blamed her for nothing? Did she know how much he fervently and illogically wished he had been there to block the falling debris with his own body -- even if it was just to give her and their son just a few more precious seconds of life?

The second day after the destruction of Vulcan Kavel returned to the Nightlight Cafe. The waitress who had served him that day was there. She saw him from where she was preparing some coffee behind a counter.

Smoothing out her apron she came towards Kavel. She was small, petite. She looked young. Kavel wondered how she'd managed to support his weight.

"I have come," he said, "To pay my bill. I apologize for leaving without settling it before. It was not my intention to..."

Her eyes began to...leak...

Glancing down at her name badge he read, _'Magda'_.

"Magda," Kavel said trying to remain calm and neutral. He hadn't meant to steal. He hadn't realized how much distress it had caused. "I apologize if this caused you undue stress. It was not my intention to inconvenience you."

"I'm so sorry," Magda said, wiping away a tear that had escaped her eye. "I'm so sorry. I have a son too..."

Kavel swallowed. She wasn't upset about the bill. He wanted to pay the bill. He did not want to talk about this. He understood 'I'm sorry' was the human equivalent of 'I grieve with thee'...but he didn't want to hear either of those condolences. They really didn't grieve with him. How could they?

"I would like to pay my bill," he said evenly.

She looked at him a long moment, nodded, and said, "Yes, sir."

Kavel didn't know where to go in the immediate months after the destruction of his home planet. There really was no where to go. There were talks of the establishment of a colony a 'New Vulcan'...but everything Kavel loved of his homeworld, his wife, their son, his parents, his siblings...they were all gone. He did not see the logic of burdening the High Command with one more refugee.

At first his human colleagues talked around him in hushed respectful whispers. But eventually, they resumed their normal human banter in his presence. He was not sure he cared either way. But he did notice.

Then the reports of the rapes and murders committed by Vulcans started to come out. He understood immediately what it meant. He was a sixty two year old Vulcan male with a child. Of course he knew about Pon Farr.

The humans around him began talking in whispers again. But this time it was different...

There was nothing he could do about it. So he was determined to ignore the whispers and let them slide past him just as breezily as the whispers of pity.

x x x x x x x

He was in the cafe again. Magda was placing a teapot of hot water in front of him. He didn't consciously try to sit in her station. But today he was...just by chance.

"Another Vulcan attack on Earth, this time we have it on film..." The holo newscaster said.

Kavel looked up at the holo. It could have been him lunging at the camera eyes blazing.

From around him he heard whispers. They were looking at him. He knew.

Kavel looked down at the teapot. His tea had not steeped long enough yet...he poured himself a cup anyway.

The holo announcer continued, "New evidence suggests this is a state of violence that afflicts Vulcan males and comes on every seven years..."

There was a click, and suddenly there was a game of soccer on. Kavel looked up to see Magda holding the holovision remote control.

While paying his bill later Magda said, "I'm sorry about that."

"About what?" Kavel asked, genuinely confused.

"The newscast," Magda said.

"That was not your doing," Kavel responded. He paid his bill and left.

After that he always requested to sit in Magda's station.

x x x x x x x

It was, quite frankly, inconceivable that two races from two separate planets could be so alike. Bipedal, bilateral symmetry, internal organs only slightly repositioned. Eyes, eyebrows, ears, nose, lips...all in the same location. An outer layer of skin to protect them from dessication, viruses, bacteria and parasites...and to receive sensation. Mammary glands to suckle the young. And sexual organs that were, for all intents and purposes, identical.

It was, quite frankly, inappropriate that Kavel was thinking about this. But he was.

Magda walked by him and he followed the swish of her skirt above her shaply calves with his eyes. Turning his attention back to his PADD he tried to focus on the report he was composing for his colleagues and found it strangely difficult.

He came back to the cafe the next day. This was unusual. Normally, Kavel only went to the cafe once a week, but he had been there three days in a row now. He tilted his head and sipped his tea.

Hearing a crash Kavel's eyes shot up. A large human male had just knocked a plate out of Magda's hands while inadvisedly trying to sidle past her in a narrow aisle.

"Watch where you're going, you clumsy cow!" The man said.

Standing up, Kavel said in a controlled even tone, "Do not speak to her in that manner."

"What are you going to go all Pon Farr on me?" Asked the man.

Kavel tilted his head and fought back a snarl.

Magda's manager strode quickly to the man who had knocked Magda's plates, "Sir," he said, "Please let us make this up to you...your meal is on us..."

Standing, not moving a muscle, Kavel considered what the man had said. Magda came over to his table and whispered, "Thanks." Then she trotted off to the kitchen. In her wake she left a trail of scent that was...inconceivably, female -- if you considered the light years and billions of years of evolution between their races.

Kavel closed his eyes. It was eight months too early...

x x x x x x x x

Pacing back and forth by the biosphere air lock, Kavel considered his options. Well, one option. As a geologist who did surveys Kavel had the access codes to the doors of course. He could slip out anytime...without a vacuum suit he would be dead within seconds. It was night now...no one would see...

Normally, he wouldn't have hesitated. But of course, he wasn't in a normal state of mind. There was an animal inside of him that wanted to live...And his mind...his mind was warring with itself, flooded with sensations of despair and frustration at his inability to end it right now.

Slip into the blackness...with his wife and child...he moved forward to the access panel of the first lock door. His fingers hesitated...what was the code? He snarled at himself in frustration. It wasn't even that bad yet. He wasn't incapacitated with emotion.

"Are you alright?" he didn't recognize the voice at first. It was out of context. It didn't belong here. He froze.

Turning, he saw Magda.

The animal in him suddenly wanted much more than just to live.

"What are you doing here?" he asked in a voice that rolled out with surprising inflection.

"I live nearby," she said.

Of course this made sense, Kavel realized with what was left of his rational mind. She was only a waitress. She would be relegated to the housing nearest the locks where the air was thinner, the climate not so well controlled. He shivered involuntarily. The chill of the Altos-5 night radiated through the walls.

"Something is wrong," she said.

His mind briefly regained control of his body. He turned away. "You must go, Magda." His fingers started to press access codes into the panel.

He heard her approaching but did not stop until cold fingers landed on his own.

_Fear, curiosity, concern...a small spark of attraction...her attraction_ to_ him._ These feelings rolled through him, made his fingers pause and his mouth salivate.

"I...I...don't think you are alright," she said again.

The right thing to do would be to push her away. The blackness awaited...

_Sympathy...worry..._

He did not move.

Speaking softly, voice trembling, Magda said, "Why don't you come with me...I...I can make you some tea." And then she pulled his hand gently.

Following her as obediently as a dog Kavel felt a rush of _relief_ through his hands.

He realized that she had no idea what was going on. Squeezing her hand gently he tested...it was so frail. She was so small. He felt something almost predatory growing in the pit of his stomach. He must get away...

She squeezed his hand in response as they walked along the long wide corridors near the air lock. He felt more _relief_...and a flicker of _happiness._ Kavel's eyes shot sideways and saw a soft smile on her face.

"How old are you?" he asked. Why was he asking?

"Twenty-three..." she replied...

Oh, Surak, she was a baby...even by human standards.

A surge of curiosity rushed from her. "How old are you?" she asked.

"Sixty-three..." he replied.

There was no flash of comprehension from her through the empathic connection now between their hands. He wondered just how simple she was...It would make it easier for him. The animal was pleased. He felt a rising wave of shame...

"Wow, you look so young. I would have thought you were in your thirties..." she said.

He closed his eyes. Forced himself to breathe slowly in through his nose, out through his mouth. He'd just walk with her for a few minutes...see that she got home safely. Something mirthless in him whispered, "Just let someone try to approach her when she's with a Vulcan in the midst of Pon Farr."

He took another breath...how he would have liked to have ripped out the arms of that man who had yelled at her. Magda was so obviously frail, femiine, soft. Kavel looked down at her and licked his lips.

"Did you say something?" she asked.

He felt a rise of _uncertainty_ through his hands. She started to let him go. No, no, no...that wouldn't do.

He forced himself to send a warm wave of _reassurance._ He tilted his head. "I said nothing."

She squeezed his hand again and smiled. "You are so warm."

"You are...so cool," he replied...or the animal did. What was it doing?

She laughed and his hand absolutely buzzed. He felt so happy, pleased, elated. Why did he ever think this was a bad idea?

He echoed the sensation he felt, made sure she felt it and she laughed again. It was intoxicating and wonderful. So much better than the despair and frustration he felt before.

"I'm sorry," she said, "I can't help laughing. I just feel so happy all of a sudden."

He squeezed her hand and nodded.

She pulled at his fingers and started to walk more quickly. They reached the habitation area, she guided him past a few long dark corridors, and then down one that looked to him like anyother. They passed several non-descript doors. Noticing the garbage on the floor he felt a wave of disgust at the untidiness of humans. His nostrils flared...

"Is everything okay?"

They were now in front of another nondescript door. Magda was looking up at him.

Keval felt _concern _and _fear_ through his hands. He let her go. Shoved both his hands in his pockets. "Everything, is fine."

She opened the door. Not with an access code, with a metal key. Grunting slightly she pushed it open with her body. Then looked down a moment. "Its broken." She stepped into the room beyond the door. It was lit only by windows that faced the corridor outside.

Keval leaned against the door frame. Her concern had jarred his rational mind. "Do you not have a mate...a husband...who is waiting for you?" Part of him wanted her to say no and part of him wished that a human would come through the door right now and strike him, pummel him for what he was considering doing.

"No," she said. "It's alright...we'll just have tea...that is why you are here...right?"

She was simple. He grasped at one last straw, "Your child, your son, where is he?"

"He's not here. They took him away."

Keval didn't ask who 'they' were. He pressed his forehead against the door frame. He could just turn around...just walk away. That was right and logical.

A hand on his shoulder jarred him back into the moment. "You're not alright."

Turning his head slowly he faced her. "Have you not been watching the holo news, Magda? Surely you can guess what is wrong with me."

"You wouldn't hurt me," she said.

Keval took a deep breath. The animal wanted to lunge in to the doorway. But he wasn't that far gone yet. "Yes, Magda. Yes, I will hurt you," he answered.

She swallowed. "They say you'll die if you don't..."

"This is not your concern."

Her lip trembled. Her eyes began leaking again. "I think you should come in," she said softly.

He was dying of thirst and she was offering him water. He entered the door...

**A/N:**

If you've read this far -- Thank you! If you liked it please review. (If you hate it please review and let me know why).


	11. The Seven Year Debt Part 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek**

Just to confirm, this is a collection of stories, not a single story, they all focus on the destruction of Vulcan, and how Vulcans / humans must adapt.

I will get back to Spock/Nyota at some point – and will show two Spock Pon Farr's. But thought it might be good to see Pon Farr from someone who had experienced it before, and was in a totally different situation.

This chapter isn't particularly graphic. But it is intense and might pass for M.

**  
The Seven Year Debt - Part 2**

Magda turned on the emergency lanterns in her quarters. As the lights flickered on she remembered that she had hung her laundry out to dry on a makeshift drying rack in the main living area. She felt herself go hot with embarrassment. Her underwear was hanging up there...of course did it really matter if he saw her underwear at this point?

She swallowed. She watched his eyes take in her quarters. He was dressed well, in expensive clothes. He probably had never seen a place like this before.

"I'm sorry," she said, "I didn't have money to pay for my electricity this month...I gave it all to the lawyer to help me get my son back." She closed her eyes. Don't think about it. Crying gets you nowhere. "Anyway..."

"That is quite alright," he said. He stopped looking around the room and looked back to her. They stood about three meters apart. There was a sofa and a small coffee table in between them.

She nodded in assessment. Besides her laundry, the room was tidy, if not precisely spick-and-span. It was hard to vacuum a carpet with out electricity.

She realized something. "I don't know your name."

Taking a step towards her he said, "My name is Keval."

"Keval," she said, practicing the sound of it on her tongue.

Keval's face was set in its usual calm, now. Except for the day that Vulcan was destroyed she'd never seen any expression on it at all. She couldn't imagine his face twisting like the Vulcan's on the holo. The ones that went crazy. He was breathing deeply. That was the only thing that seemed off.

Keval took another step towards her. He now stood in front of the couch. He looked very handsome...tall, dark hair, lean-- his eyebrows were a little scary. She didn't mind the pointy ears though.

What should she do?

"Would you like that cup of tea?" She asked.

"Magda, if you want me to leave, you must ask me to go now." Keval bent his head and looked at the floor.

Magda bit her lip. "What do you need?"

His head snapped up so quickly Magda took a step back. He walked towards her. "I need to bond with you. Then I will need to mate."

Magda looked at the floor. "Will it hurt?" she asked. He was so close she could feel his breath on her face. It was too warm, as though he had a fever.

"If we start now...it will be better."

Warm fingers came to her face. Magda shivered even though the contact was warm. It had been so long since a man had touched her, and this was oddly...close? Sexual? Loving? She wasn't sure what the words were.

What did she really have to lose? Everything was gone. The last time she'd let a man touch her the only good thing in her life had happened to her.

Closing her eyes she said, "Okay."

Keval's hand began to shake. "My mind to your mind, my thoughts to your thoughts..."

He was so _relieved_, Magda realized. A weight had lifted from his shoulders. It made sense. Yes, perfect sense. When he lost his wife his heart had lost its home. And his body had lost its mate. He had not sought what he needed, so his body and his mind had rebelled, forced the time on early. It was quite rational really, from an evolutionary perspective, to seek a new mate as soon as possible...

Magda's eyes flew open. That was...not her thinking...

Keval's dark brown eyes met her own. _It is us._ He didn't speak it, she felt it.

She felt him. Not just in her mind. Everywhere. In her, in him. Where his fingers touched her cheek she felt her coolness at the same time she felt his warmth.

His face was calm...his breathing regular now. She had given him some more time. More time before he became someone else. That thing that was seeking it was mollified...sated...

"I know what that means," Magda said out loud, "I know what mollified and sated mean."

Yes. He was happy. Grateful.

She felt like a wind was blowing through her. He was looking for something...looking for things...she felt him trip over something...

"Ah, your son..." Keval said.

Dropping his hand from her face he came closer to her and wrapped his arms around her, and she knew he did it because he knew that is what she wanted.

"I left him alone...because I had to," Magda said.

"I know."

"He was fine...he is only five, but Jimmy is so smart. Not like me at all..." She murmured.

"Shhhh......My Magda."

"They said I was an unfit parent."

"You are not, unfit...you were just alone...."

She felt despair welling in her. And as it welled in her it welled in him. And suddenly she understood that if she continued to go in that direction they would both be consumed. Images of a little boy with pointy ears and dark hair and a face set like stone...his fingers on hers...no on Keval's...the little boy was happy behind that stone face...

Her heart wanted to break...

She forced herself to think of everything good she had ever known. Her granny, a sunny day on Earth in Iowa, huge expansive blue skies with no biosphere overhead, chocolate chip cookies...

Chocolate chip cookies?

Yes. Warm from the oven. Melting on her tongue.

What made him happy? Equations filled her mind. The world was made of equations.

x + 6 = 108

x = 102

That was so simple...she hadn't know that? She hadn't know that.

She felt concerned, no his concern. Felt his forehead drop against her own.

Now she did know it though...and she knew..there were numbers for every ripple in a pool of water, for the swing of the planets around their stars, for her and Keval...they weren't just bodies...they were light...energy....

E = mc2

She knew what that meant too.

Chocolate chip cookies. Melting on her tongue.

His arm around her. His forehead against hers. His body pulling closer. The warmth spreading from where he touched her to her center. To his center. The length of him pressed against her. The heat on her lips where she wished he would kiss her. Then did kiss her. Very softly.

"Magda, we do not have much time before it comes back." Keval whispered, side of his face pressed against hers, lips near her ear. "Let me be what you want just once...before you do not recognize me anymore."

She nodded. She knew what was coming. She could sense it, a dark animal crouching in the corner of his mind.

They made love. That first time was like everything they always showed in the romance holos she liked to watch. Except he didn't say I love you. Or whisper in her ear how beautiful she was. And his face calm without emotion the whole time. But he was so gentle. So tender. And he knew exactly what she needed, what she wanted to feel, what felt good. It felt so wonderful to be held, and he was so warm...Afterward he'd laid beneath her on the couch as she'd gone to sleep on his chest. He didn't sleep, he just lay beneath her, eyes open in the dark.

When she woke up it was back.

He was no longer underneath her. She knew where he was. It was in her mind. He was in the sanitary cubicle rifling through everything she had there. Looking for anything that he could use as lubricant...she blushed...felt warm...felt desire...felt fear.

He didn't want to hurt her. He was looking through her house...for things that would make it better.

Feeling her awaken, Keval stood up in the cubicle, she could sense it. But he didn't come to her, even thought he wanted to, he went to the one little bedroom in her quarters, her son's room.

The bed in there will work. Maybe. It was an option. His thoughts...not hers.

More of Keval's thoughts came in a rush. But how could they take him away from you Magda? How could they take him away? How could they be so heartless?

Magda heard the sound of pounding. Wrapping her waitress uniform around her body she ran into the room where Keval was standing, naked, beating a hole in the wall with his fists in frustration, despair and anger. She knew. Felt it from him.

She'd beat her fists at things too. But it hadn't helped -- and she hadn't put holes in the walls.

Reaching from behind she wrapped her arms around Keval and felt him shake. Ripping her hands off he pulled her around to face him, sank down to the ground, and pulling her on top of him he pushed inside of her.

There was a lag, a moment a few heartbeats long when she was startled. But then she was feeling everything that he was feeling. How tightly her body wrapped around him. How soft she was. Lust. Gratitude. Madness. Magda closed her eyes as a loud moan filled her ears. Hers. His. Theirs. Keval sank his teeth into the soft skin just beneath her lower jaw and she cried out half in pleasure and half in pain.

x x x x x x x

They were both gasping for breath. Magda felt calm for a moment. Kevals' calm.

"Did you know, Magda," he whispered, rocking her in his lap, still panting for breath, "Did you know that humans' closest living genetic relative is an ape? The Bonobo Chimp. It has most unusual mating habits. The males will copulate with _any_ female not their mother."

She did not know.

"Of course not. Well, the Bonobo is relatively peaceful creature," Keval continued. "When the males become aggressive a female will take them aside and have intercourse with them. This stems the aggression...acts as a sort of 'release valve' I suppose you would say.

"I have wondered if Vulcans in Pon Farr aren't like Bonobo apes...only for us it is _all _emotions. Our emotions start and we cannot stop them...we must mate...but also bond because we need a safety valve for our body _and_ our minds...and only one mate will do. " He said, rocking her faster in his lap now. The calm was leaving.

"You are not an animal, Keval," Magda whispered.

His gratitude ripped through her, so great and deep it nearly tore her apart. She felt tears burn in her eyes...Then felt his lust. He pressed himself against her. Needing.

"Do it. Its okay," she whispered. She tried to kiss him, but he caught her bottom lip in a bite and pushed her down onto the floor.

x x x x x x x x

"Magda," Keval said. Almost, not quite calm. He didn't need to speak she realized. He could have told her in her mind...but no, speaking right now was also a release.

"Magda, I think you should tie me to the bed. I think it will hold me."

Magda looked up at her son's small twin from where she lay exhausted on the floor, hardly able to move her legs. The headboard and base board were made of some sort of artificial wood -- and had slats.

Was it really necessary?

"Yes...yes...yes...Magda! It is necessary!" Keval barked. "Do you not see what is happening to me? Do you not understand? This. Is. Not. Over."

Jumping up he moved away from her, running a hand across his forehead. He was frustrated, she knew.

"I do not want to hurt you!" He screamed.

Rising shakily to her feet she whispered, "I know." And Magda did know. She knew he absolutely did not want to hurt her. He felt indebted to her beyond words -- an obligation without end.

Grabbing her by the arm Keval spun her around and bent her over the bed.

The next time he was temporarily sated she tied him down.

x x x x x x x x

Over the next two days she gave him release in any way she could. She sat astride him, or used her mouth, but began using her hands more and more simply due to exhaustion. She started scratching him, because he asked her to. Mostly across his chest...he liked it. Which meant she liked it. It turned him on, so it turned her on. His skin became so raw that blood began to break through. Little green scratches appeared, she licked it away for him, and he absolutely loved that.

In between Keval would sometimes be surprisingly lucid and calm...especially considering he was tied by ankles and wrists to her son's tiny single.

Sometimes she would fall over and sleep on his chest, feeling a weird sense of contentment and stillness from him. Other times she would wipe him down with a warm damp towel and talk to him.

"Don't you need to use the bathroom?" she asked him halfway through the first day.

"I have not imbibed enough fluids or food to need to."

"Would you like some water, or some food?" she asked.

"But then Magda, I would need to use the bathroom."

That made Magda laugh.

"Mmmmm...." Keval said, his eyes shutting, "Your laugh feels so good..."

Then he started purring, which made Magda laugh harder...and made Keval feel even happier. Happiness, like every feeling just seemed to make him more amorous -- 'amorous'...she didn't have to look the word up...

...He looked down at himself and up at her.

She smiled and wrapped her hands around him.

x x x x x x x x

On the third day things became a more intense. Every little flash of emotion seemed to send him off instantly. If she left the room to go to the bathroom or to get a drink of water he would start to scream for her to come back. It was hard to walk just feeling the desperation in her gut...his desperation.

He kept trying to bite her. Then he would feel ashamed for trying and mumble, "You are not really mine, you are not really mine."

"Shhhhhh...Keval," she would say, "I'm yours. I'm yours."

Eventually she just broke down and gave him a wrist to bite down on. When she did she gasped. Through the pain there came this emotion that was...strange and alien and dark. It wrapped around her, made her want him inside of her...and of course he'd want to help her with that. But her body was too weak to really give herself to him anymore. Her legs felt like rubber. Her arms were tired.

It was on the third day that her comlink rang. It was work.

Keval was at that moment chanting in Vulcan. Magda had never studied Vulcan, but felt rather than knew that it loosely translated into, "Fuck me fuck me fuck me fuck me..." It would have frightened her a few days ago. But now she knew somehow that it was kind of just a normal thing. She even knew it would pass -- but she knew, felt, that Keval didn't understand it would pass. He was beyond understanding.

Magda sat at what passed for a table as she listened to her comm. "Are you sure you can't come in today, Magda? Shirley is really sick. If you just have a cold or a light fever maybe we could give you a hypo..."

She felt panic begin to trickle into her mind. Then the trickle became a flood. It was Keval's panic. From her son's room Magda started to hear banging. Switching the comm off of speaker she said, "I'd really like to come in..."

The sound of loud snapping rang through Magda's ears. "...but I can't. I have to go, I..." She turned off the comm just as Keval came through the door snarling. He came up behind her before she could even move. Pinning her flat to the table he growled, "You will not go anywhere. You are mine. Mine. Mine. Mine."

It could have been worse. His desire mixed with her pain, so she felt both at the same time. But she was tired...and it was just too much. Eventually she passed out.


	12. The Seven Year Debt Part 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek**

**The Seven Year Debt: Part 3  
**  
"She won't press charges, Keval," Dr. Liscomb said as she closed her bag. "If she wanted to, I would testify on her behalf."

"I understand," Keval said.

The doctor did not acknowledge this statement. "She has multiple contusions, there are the bite marks of course, and tearing. She passed out due to dehydration and exhausted."

Keval dimly remembered panicking whenever Magda had left the room. Apparently he had dissuaded her from hydrating adequately. He looked down at the ground.

"I applied a dermkit..." the doctor continued, "and gave her something to help her sleep. She needs rest, now. Can you see she gets it?"

"I can," Keval replied. The fever still had not completely left him, but the worst was over. He _could_ control himself.

The doctor had not looked him in the eyes since she had arrived. Keval had known Dr. Laura Liscomb for years, she worked as the research facility's on-staff doctor. He had called her immediately when he had come to. She was perhaps the best doctor on Altos-5, and also she was female. That mattered to Keval now...whatever he thought his future with Magda would, or rather would not be, right now she was his. He would not have strange males poking and prodding her.

"I can't make her make you leave, Keval," she looked him in the eyes for the first time that evening. She looked down and shook her head.

He and Dr. Liscomb had a good working relationship...Now he suspected it was over. He didn't blame her if she felt disgust. He was ashamed of what he had done to Magda. She was too fragile, physically, mentally, and emotionally.

And he...the loss of his wife and child were still too close to the front of his consciousness.

As Dr. Liscomb left he looked around the apartment, still only lit by emergency lanterns, and considered what must be done to make things right. What did you give to someone who gave you seven years of life?

It was very early, not many offices were open, but he was able to get Magda's electricity bill paid through his comm, credit line, and some convenient computerized help. Digging around her small quarters he was able to find an old console. Plugging into Altos-5's legal net he reviewed her case. And then he began to read the online documentation of Altos-5's child custody legislation...in its entirety, of course.

x x x x x x

Feeling Magda beginning to wake Keval made his way to the boy's room where she slept.

Her first waking thought startled Keval. He was standing by the door, she was lying on the mattress -- now on the floor, and she felt like there was too much space between them. After all that he had done...

She'd been there physically for him when he needed it.

Keval walked over, laid beside Magda, wrapped an arm around her and pulled her close. It wasn't a Vulcan gesture at all and felt incredibly awkward to him.

"But you're doing it fine," Magda said and a wave of contentment settled over Keval. He felt his body relax.

She looked around the room. "The electricity is back on?"

"Yes."

She looked away for a long time. Then asked, "What happens to us now?"

"The bond is supposed to be permanent," Kavel said, "On rare occasions, they are broken with the help of a healer...although usually it is before the bond is consummated..."

"You do not know what to do."

"No, I do not." He took a breath. "They say when a consummated bond is broken there will always be a mental scar...but...we are not well suited for one another."

It was an understatement.

Her eyes began to leak. "I'm not smart enough for you."

"We do not share the same interests." He replied. It wasn't exactly a refutation of the statement, "And I am not expressive enough for you." He'd seen what she wanted in her mind. He was not it, although he had tried for a while to imitate.

"I know, I know..." she closed her eyes and buried her face into his shoulder, "But I still think it is sad."

"If it pains you too intensely, a Vulcan healer can help you forget."

Keval would never let himself forget. It was an event he was ashamed of, to forget it would be too easy.

"I don't want to forget. Next to giving birth to my son, this is the only thing I've ever done. And stop feeling ashamed!"

He looked down at her bruised, slightly bloody lip.

"It will get better Kavel." She pushed tighter against him. "So what do we do right _now_?"

"We will get our son back." He blinked at his mistake. "Your son, Magda. We will get him back."

x x x x x x

Keval got the earliest appointment he could with a child custody case worker...it was a few days away. Which gave Magda some time to recuperate.

Keval took time off work to be available if needed. He cleaned the apartment, fixing broken hinges on cabinets and closet doors, repairing the sonic washer dryer, and tightening leaky faucets as he went. It was very meditative if not especially challenging.

While he was busy with this and that Magda rested and watched inane holo vids. He could usually guess the plot line and conclusion within the first fifteen minutes. He didn't pay attention to them, but whenever one of the holos made her laugh his mind buzzed with something so pleasant he wondered if it was addicting.

A lawyer had taken nearly three months wages from Magda, over three weeks of her time and not gotten her son, Jimmie back. It took Keval three days to have him released from foster care on a technicality.

He went with Magda to pick the boy up, to make sure she wasn't hassled by any bureaucrats. When asked about his relationship to her he told the truth -- that he was acting as her legal counsel.

He felt love for the child before the meeting because Magda loved the child. Nonetheless, he wasn't quite prepared for the effect the reunion would have on him.

He stood to the side, arms behind his back in the hallway of the juvenile court building as Magda paced. The little boy came through the doors at the end of the hallway, two social workers grasping him by either hand...and then the boy saw Magda.

Ripping his hands out of the social workers' Jimmie came bolting down the hallway a blur of too big clothes, ungainly limbs, and dirty blonde hair. "Mom!" he screamed and literally leaped into Magda's arms. As their bodies collided Keval felt like he'd been hit by another earthquake. Magda was completely overwhelmed by joy and it overwhelmed him. He was afraid to move for fear of loosing his balance.

After spinning Jimmie around for exactly three minutes and thirty eight seconds, that illogically felt like an enternity, Magda put the boy down. She held on to his hand though, very tightly, afraid to let him go.

"This is Keval, Jimmie, he helped Mommy get you back."

Jimmie held up a small hand.

For an instant Keval only stared at it. Keval's child had been ripped from him with his wife in an act of cosmic madness. But he had reunited this mother and this child and corrected a small amount of human madness. He felt like he had won a minute battle against the forces of entropy. And he was bound to them...

On instinct Keval held out two fingers of his own hand. The human boy wrapped his whole hand around Keval's fingers and turned to stare at the social workers now standing a few feet away. Keval felt a rush of defiance mixed with joy through the finger link.

As Kavel felt it, Magda felt it, she looked at Kavel then down at her son. "You're such a strong boy Jimmie!"

Jimmie grinned up at his mother.

Keval turned to the social workers. "I believe we...she...has a right to the child's file."

One handed a data filament to Keval, "Here." He shook his head. "He's all yours."

Keval nodded and then the three of them turned and walked down the hall. Keval felt the most complete he had since the fall of Vulcan, and like he had restored a small world. Did that pay for seven years?

"Everything is going to be just fine, now Jimmie," Magda was saying.

x x x x x x x x

Everything was not fine.

Later that night Keval was in his own home, reviewing Jimmie's file. In the court records it had said that Jimmie had been disobedient during school. Keval began to put together a hypothesis as to why.

Magda had told him the boy was smart...but he suspected she didn't understand what that meant. The child was exceptionally gifted for a human. Even by Vulcan standards he would be judged as very bright.

Keval checked the curriculum the five year old was exposed to. He wondered if the child wasn't just under stimulated. He checked human child psychology literature and found that his hypothesis was well supported.

And then he felt Magda's panic. The boy had awakened with nightmares.

Keval didn't bother to pick up his comm he just went directly to her house. He didn't chime when he arrived. She held the door open for him.

Jimmie was sitting on the floor playing with toy shuttle crafts. He looked calm but Keval could hear that his heart beat was extremely elevated.

Keval went and sat next to him. He had no idea how to relate to a human child.

"But I know you'll think of something," said Magda. She was talking to Keval, but both Keval and Jimmie looked up. Then they both stared at each other.

Keval held out two fingers as he had done earlier in the day before. It is what he would have done for his own child...this was, in a way his child, wasn't he?

Jimmie put down his shuttle craft and reached out to touch Keval's fingers.

Keval felt _curiosity_ spark between them overriding the underlying emotion of _fear._

"He is very curious," said Magda.

"You're not happy like you were earlier," Jimmie said to Keval.

Keval blinked. He hadn't realized he'd been transmitting earlier...or now. He responded to the child's question. "You are...nervous...I am concerned."

"You don't have to be concerned," the child said and Keval felt the _anger _behind the words_._

"Yes, I do," Keval replied. And this time he did transmit. He focused on feelings of resolve, peace and comfort.

"You're not going to let them take me away again, are you?" the boy asked.

"Of course not," Magda said responding across the room for Keval, "Neither of us will let them take you away, Jimmie."

Jimmie looked at his mother, and Keval felt a wave of resignation mixed with love in the link.

Keval was a Vulcan, he could not make such illogical promises. The universe was too vast, too filled with uncertainties for blanket statements like Magda's. "I will do everything in my power to see that they do not." It wasn't a promise of safety. It was a logical promise. Keval said it without knowing how the child would react, wondering if by telling the truth he'd broken something irreparably.

Jimmie looked at Keval. "You're the only who hasn't lied to me," the child said.

Through the finger tip link Keval felt a wave of complete and utter trust. The world that Keval had just been afraid he may have shattered suddenly coalesced and was whole.

x x x x x x x x

Keval stayed at Magda's house the remainder of the night, because he promised Jimmie he would...and then he stayed the next and the next...

Eventually, he found more suitable living quarters for the three of them. Magda wanted him to stay for the sake of her son and Keval had a seven year debt to repay.

Magda wasn't just intellectually unsuited for Keval...she had a difficult time meeting the needs of her precocious boy.

Jimmie and Keval _were_ well matched. Keval's empathetic link allowed him to reach a child who was suffering from a lack of trust in adults -- Jimmie learned Keval couldn't lie to him. And Keval found the child didn't mind his inability to express emotions outwardly. Perhaps because he was so young, his mind was malleable, but Jimmie didn't mind at all that Keval didn't smile, or frown or even raise an eyebrow.

Also, the child was very, very, bright. Keval had him relocated to a school for gifted children. He taught Jimmie 3D chess, took him to geographical dig sights within the biosphere, and showed him greenhouses where they were genetically engineering plants that could withstand the vacuum and transform Atros-5's thin atmosphere. He even taught the child some Vulcan.

Helping to raise a child that needed him desperately was fulfilling. Raising a child who was brilliant, yet not in a Vulcan way was fascinating.

Jimmie didn't have the photographic memory of a Vulcan, but he did have a very good memory -- if he could identify a pattern to anchor his memories too. He fidgeted if he did not have enough exercise, and didn't take well at all to meditation. However, he took to logic, he was insatiably curious, and he could be quite analytical. His mind bounced around from topic to topic if not corralled.

It was perhaps good that he didn't have a Vulcan mind. Jimmie was completely new and separate. Keval's didn't dwell as much on what he'd lost.

And sometimes Jimmies bouncing human brain was a good thing.

One time during a game of 3D chess, Jimmie asked out of the blue in the most formal Vulcan, _"Would it be appropriate if I call you sa-mekh, Keval?"  
_  
Keval carefully put the chess piece he was moving down on the board. In fact he made a very poor move. His small human was asking to call him father. _"Only if I may call you sa-fu."_

"Got your rook, _sa-mekh_!"

"So you did, _sa-fu_," Keval said, wondering if the sudden pronouncement wasn't a distraction technique. But Jimmie never called him anything but _sa-mekh_ ever again.

If Keval hadn't been in love with the child before...well, he was completely taken then.

It gradually came to Keval's attention that the one who got the least out of the accidental family he found himself in was Magda.

x x x x x x x x

Keval and Magda had no mental pursuits in common, beyond Jimmie and discussions on Vulcan human 'Pon Farr marriages' they didn't have much to talk about. And even these topics were a bit limited by Magda's intellectual level.

But at least Keval got something from her emotionally. She was generally a happy person. When Keval was mentally musing about it one time she said, "Happiness doesn't happen to you. It is a choice you make every day."

He was floored. He didn't realize there was a philosophy behind her mood. He just took it for granted. It bubbled in the back of his consciousness as he attended geological surveys or wrote reports. It buoyed him when he received uncomfortable stares and whispers. It was a balance to the occasional dark thoughts of loss that would come with memories of his wife and child.

Emotionally he wasn't sure she got much from him. Magda wasn't like her son. Even with the mental bond between them she wished for a smile, a frown, even just a raised eyebrow. Keval couldn't deliver these. Nor could he deliver flowery 'I love yous'. He was not publicly affectionate nor was he was not spontaneous in his affections.

He tried to be there for her when she needed him...but it hardly ever occurred to him to just give her an embrace out of the blue. If he did do something like that she knew it was out of a sense of obligation, not real motivation.

And he really _didn't_ need sex between Pon Farr cycles. He _could _indulge. But he didn't _need _to. Although she had not had any human lovers since she had her son having Keval around made her want more. No matter what Dr. Liscomb thought, or how badly Keval felt, Magda never felt as though she had been raped or taken advantage of. She had felt a little afraid, but mostly she felt like she'd been needed...perhaps it was the mental bond. Eventually, she was interested. Keval wasn't necessarily adverse...but after a while she began to wish it wasn't her thoughts that initiated most of their encounters.

Over the next six years as more and more 'Pon Farr Marriage' stories came out, Kavel realized how favorable his situation with Magda was. There were an uncomfortable number of human women who engaged with a Vulcan in Pon Farr seeking a thrill without interest in a long term relationship.

These situations tended to go very badly for the Vulcan. Vulcans were monogamous generally. Humans were serial monogamists. Moreover, humans weren't naturally telepathic. It was much easier for the bond to be cut in the human, and after wards they recovered faster.

Sometimes they didn't even wait for the bond to be cut before moving on…

There was prejudice. But at least on Altos-5 the laws held. There were no moves to ghettoize Vulcans. There was no mob violence. There was graffiti. There was occasional garbage thrown on the lawn. Jimmie got in one fight at school -- but his teachers were supportive. Keval's small human was an 'exceptional mind', and it gradually came back to Keval that after meeting Magda, his teachers thought Jimmie's academic success had to do with his 'Vulcan guardian'.

Keval was a genetically desirable Vulcan with skills that the Vulcan High Command was interested in. Even class M planets could use a little helpful terra forming...and of course a geologist. But his little family was not welcome...and he couldn't leave them behind.

It was illogical, but Keval was determined that if a random galactic event was to occur he would be there to shield his family with his last breath.

Magda continued to work as a waitress primarily so that she would have people to talk to who were expressive and shared her interest in vapid holo vids, celebrity gossip and talk shows. She did have human male admirers -- which made Keval territorial. Suitable or not, she was his bonded mate, and he was a Vulcan. He tried to shield her from his territorial thoughts...there was a part of him that felt she'd be better off with a human male.

...which was part of the reason during year six he attempted to find a Vulcan mate and a healer to break the bond. He shielded this activity from Magda, he wanted to be sure all the arrangements were made beforehand.

He was always high on 'The List', a match was found for him quickly and a healer was recommended.

Magda was not happy when he told her.

She stood at one end of the kitchen. "You don't even want to leave us, Keval. You are perfectly content as things are. We're fond of each other, and you love my son."

Which was all true...but...

"I do not want you to feel obligated to go through another Pon Farr with me," Keval replied sitting calmly at his usual place at the kitchen table.

"Lots of people do it," Magda said, pacing the floor. "It won't be as bad next time. You're happier now. I'm happier now, I have Jimmie...and we can buy a bed with a metal frame...you know...in case it does go bad."

There were also many more pharmaceutical options available than six years ago...although they all had side effects.

"It is not just Pon Farr," Keval said, "I know there are human males who are more suited to your needs than I am."

Magda looked at him and shook her head. "There may be men better suited for me...but no guy is going to be as perfect as you are for my son. I never would have even got him back if you weren't for you...do you know what happens to foster children?"

Her eyes began to leak. "You may have felt like you owed me seven years or something...but we're even."

He pulled her into his lap because he knew that was what she wanted. She pressed her forehead against his because that was what he wanted.

"I will stay," he said.

**A/N:**  
Ummm…if you made it to the bottom of this one, thanks. Not sure about it…But this selection of stories is kind of experimental. When I dove into this one it grew.

I might have to start a "The Mighty" drabbles section to handle overflow from stories like this. There are so many little stories that could happen in here. Child with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Vulcan telepathy, the heat they'd get from all sides...

Next up…something completely different (I hope!)


	13. URGENT OFFICIAL ANNOUNCEMENT

Disclaimer: I don't own Startrek

This is a collection of stories about the after effects of the Destruction of Vulcan, specifically how it relates to Pon Farr (too many unbonded males about!) & Human Vulcan inter-relations...of all sorts!

**Subject: URGENT OFFICIAL ANNOUNCEMENT: Human women now considered an acceptable alternative to death**

From: The Vulcan High Command  
To: Undisclosed Recipients ;

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Section I. Human Women Now Considered An Acceptable Alternative to Death**

Upon reviewing recent events the Vulcan High Command has deemed it prudent to officially announce that in cases of extreme need human women will be considered acceptable alternatives to death if Pon Farr is eminent and one of the following conditions are met:

**1)** One is not ranked within the top one hundred on Genetically Desirable List and Pon Farr is expected within two months.

**2)** One is not ranked within the top one thousand on Genetically Desirable List and Ponn Farr is expected within twenty months.

**3) ** One is not ranked on the Genetically Desirable List.

For individuals meeting conditions 1-2 if an accidental bonding has occurred you are requested to contact Vulcan High Command. We will see to it that a healer is quickly dispatched and you will be released from this inferior circumstance.

**Section II. When A Human Bond Mate is Never Acceptable**

Please note, the above information is for Vulcan males seeking females in emergency circumstances only. The following bondings will never be condoned:

**1)** One is ranked as a Class - A1 Genetically superior Vulcan male. If you fall under this category contact Vulcan High Command immediately. Your future bond mate will be selected and shipped to you directly -- no need to undergo space travel during Pon Farr.

**2)** Vulcan females with human males. There is no logical reason for you to accept an inferior mating when **a)** there are so many Genetically Superior unbonded Vulcan males available and **b)** the number of our race has been so severly diminished.

**3) ** Vulcan females with human females. Please see** Section II-2-b** above. Pharmaceutical corrections for your condition will be donated upon bonding with a suitable Vulcan male.

**4)** Vulcan males and human males. Please see** Section II-2-a** above.

**Section III. Frequently Asked Questions**

**Q1) **How do I make sure my human female is unharmed during Pon Farr?  
This is a reasonable question due to the frailty of human females, their poor adaptions for the psychic needs of Pon Farr, the hastiness of many of these impromptu bonds, and the emotional state of all Vulcans after our recent tragedy.  
**A1) ** Restrain yourself. Complete the bonding mind meld as soon as possible, then restrain yourself/have yourself restrained. Preferably with metal or high quality poly fiber restraints to a metal or poly fiber frame.

**Q2) **What if I wish to remain with my human bond-mate?  
**A2) **For Vulcans who meet the conditions of Section I 1-3 this is not an acceptable option. Please consider the illogical nature of this query. For individuals meeting the conditions of Section I 4 this option is acceptable; death is also a logical option.

**Q3)** I'm concerned about mental scaring for myself and my partner due to the artificial breaking of the bond.  
**A3) ** Technically this is not a question. In addition, the good of the many outweigh the good of the few. Please reconsider your logic.  
**  
Q4)** I meet the conditions for Section I 4 and I would like to stay with my human bond-mate. Is having children via invitro-hybridization condoned?  
**A4)** No.

**Q5)** How do I meet human females?  
**A5) ** At this time the Vulcan High Command will not offer 'dating' advice to Vulcan males seeking human mates.

**Conclusion:**  
In emergency situations human females are now condoned as agents to relieve the lethal nature of Pon Farr, although hardly ideal. Most of these unions should be ended as soon as possible once the danger of Pon Farr has abated.

Please remember, all bondings must be consensual.

**A/N:**

O.K. Tongue in cheek. Reviews are how Fan Fic writers get paid. Please drop a line if you can!


	14. The Gift Part 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Spock, Jim, McCoy, Uhura or Starfleet**

**The Gift: Part 1**

Staring out at LN324, Jim ground his teeth. He was in a pissy mood. The kind of pissy Spock had been when he was captain of the Enterprise after the fall of Vulcan and knew he was sucking big time but felt too trapped to do anything but carry on. Okay, maybe pissy trivialized the feeling. He wanted to pound his fist against something. Like his first officer perhaps.

Spock was right and Jim knew it...and that did not make Jim happy.

Hell, Bones even agreed with Spock, and he didn't believe in this sort of thing.

From where he sat in the Captain's chair he heard his first officer approaching. "Captain," Spock said in his usual calm neutral voice, "T'Quill's shuttle has arrived. We should meet her in the transporter room."

T'Quill, the healer. Looking over Jim saw Uhura standing up from her station. She was going to be part of the greeting party. Jim noticed she was barely biting back a smile. T'Quill, among other things, was going to officiate the bonding ceremony between Uhura and Spock. Uhura at least was happy.

Susan Lee, the human who had undergone the Pon Farr mind meld with the murderous Zenack, well, she still had not agreed to T'Quill's assistance.

Jim on the other hand...he hadn't agreed so much as been forced.

The ropes of memories in Jim's head were progressively becoming more and more entangled. He'd been in a subspace meeting with Admiral Pike two days ago and they had gotten in a disagreement about the origins of some ancient space hunk of junk Terran starship that the Federation had found recently.

"Mr. Spock, get Lieutenant McGivens on this right away," Jim snapped over his shoulder from where he sat at the subspace comm.

"Pardon?" said Spock.

"McGivens, Oh Hell, I always get her name wrong. McGivers...the ship's historian," Jim replied.

"Captain," Spock said softly, "I am afraid that person is not onboard this vessel."

"What's going on Jim?" Pike asked sounding confused.

"What, have we already dropped her off on Ceti Alpha V? Spock...that can't be right." Jim said.

"Ceti Alpha V? Who did you drop off on Ceti Alpha V?" asked the Admiral incredulously.

Why had they dropped her off at Ceti Alpha V? Jim couldn't for the life of him remember.

It was Spock who rescued him. "Admiral, I believe that the Captain is confusing a former associate of mine with our current historian, Lieutenant O'Malley. I will contact her..."

"No, that's alright," Pike replied, "I've gotta go. More Vulcan Pon Farr public relations nightmares to fix." He took a deep breath and stared meaningfully at Jim's first officer. Spock said nothing.

"Admiral Pike out."

Perplexed Jim stared at the screen. Should he be touched? "You lied for me, Spock."

"No, I did not. If I deduce correctly McGivers is a former associate of my older self. Technically, not a lie."

Jim tapped his hand nervously on his leg. Vulcans and their technicalities.

"Captain -- Jim," Spock had said softly, "This can not go on."

And Jim knew he was right.

Which didn't mean Jim had to like it. Now, in the present, Nero-corrupted-time-line, Jim was going to stand up and bravely walk down to meet T'Quill. It was more frightening than beaming aboard the Narada.

Taking a deep breath, Jim lifted himself from his chair and went to join Spock and his communications officer in the turbolift. "Sulu you've got the comm," he called. He liked the sound of his own voice saying that. He liked sounding all captain-y. Would he be able to keep pulling it off?

The turbolift doors swished shut. "Okay, tell me about this T'Quill of yours, Spock...the Vulcan granny who is going to swirl my brains," Jim said.

Spock and Uhura exchanged looks.

"Haven't you looked at her file, sir?" Uhura asked.

"Why would I do that when I have a walking data drive to fill me in?" Jim said. That was uncalled for, he knew his first officer did not appreciated being referred to as a computer.

Spock pulled his arms behind his back. "I hope you realize, that when I reviewed all the potential candidates I sought someone who would be suitable for all of us -- Lieutenant Lee, and yourself first and foremost..."

"I believe you Spock. So what are her qualifications?"

"T'Quill was trained on Vulcan as a healer starting from a very early age due to her extremely strong telepathic skills. At the age of thirty-five she left Vulcan and journeyed to Earth to study human psychology, neuroanatomy, neurochemistry and neurophysiology."

The turbo lift stopped and the three of them stepped out and walked towards the transporter room.

Spock continued, "T'Quill remained on Earth for thirty years. While there she founded the field of Human-Vulcan Comparative Psychology. Since the destruction of Vulcan she has been tasked with helping many Vulcans who are recovering from mind shock, and humans who have found themselves bonded to Vulcans...accidentally."

_Accidentally_, there was a delicate way to put humans who ran into besotted Vulcans on the verge of Pon Farr.

The three of them stepped into the transporter room where Scotty was waiting for them. "Captain, we're all ready to beam her aboard," the engineer said.

Jim's stomach sank a little. "Beam her up, Mr. Scott."

There was the swirl of transporter light and then there she was. Jim had lately heard mind melds described as 'mind fucks'. Well...

Jim had forgotten about Vulcan lifespans. The woman standing on the platform was not a granny. She was in fact...really quite beautiful. Black eyes beneath slanted eyebrows, a strong straight nose above full lips that were completely wasted if they didn't indulge in kissing. Which sadly, he knew some Vulcans didn't do.

T'Quill wore her hair long, a lot like Saavik had. And like Saavik it cascaded down her back in loose ringlets. Jim remembered Saavik of course, after she had helped him through Pon Farr as he sat shivering in the cave barely aware of who he was...

Oh, God damn it...it wasn't just the other Jim's memories jostling in his head, it was the other Spock's.

Focus, Jim. T'Quill. T'Quill stood in front of him. Even beneath the Vulcan robe it was obvious she was endowed with...

Jim cast a suspicious look at his first officer. Spock and Uhura were both staring straight ahead at the transporter.

With a smile Jim stepped forward and said , "Hello, T'Quill. I'm Captain James T. Jim. This is my first officer, Commander Spock, this is my communications officer, Lieutenant Uhura, and behind me is Mr. Scott, our chief engineer. Welcome aboard the Enterprise."

T'Quill stepped down from the pad and nodded at Spock, Uhura and Scottie. "I am pleased to meet all of you."

Turning to face Jim her head tilted in a nod. "I hope that you find I am able to be of service."

Sometimes Spock's voice grated on Jim due to its lack of cadence. But from T'Quill...Her voice was soothing and almost hypnotic in its lack of inflection.

Jim smacked one of his hands with his fist. Either he was going to kill his first officer or...

He managed a quick smile. "I'll have Lieutenant Uhura show you to your quarters."

T'Quill nodded at Uhura.

Uhura looked quizzically at Jim. The plan was for all of them to briefly take T'Quill to her quarters then give her a tour of the ship.

Responding to Uhura's unspoken question with another smile Jim said, "The commander and I will meet up with you at your quarters. Mr. Scott, you're dismissed. Lieutenant Uhura, T'Quill, we'll see you in a few minutes."

He glared at Spock. "Commander...a word?"

As soon as the others had left the room Jim turned to Spock. "Did you do that on purpose?"

"Do what on purpose, Captain?" asked Spock hands behind his back.

"You know..."

"No, I am afraid I do not know. There are far to many variables..."

"How many times am I going to have to meld with her?" Jim asked.

"Numerous, times I would imagine, Captain," said Spock.

"And all those times I'm going to be thinking about banging her and she's going to know it!" said Jim.

"Oh. Yes, that."

"So you did know!" Jim exclaimed.

"If you are referring to the fact that she is aesthetically pleasing. Yes, of course I knew. As would you if you had glanced at her file. I assure you Captain, that T'Quill is the most qualified healer for your needs. Most Vulcan healers only have limited experience with humans.

"However," Spock continued. "I can find someone more mature, male or both if you prefer."

Jim scowled. "No, I don't prefer."

"I thought not," said Spock. Was that smugness Jim detected?

"I feel set up," he grumbled.

Jim didn't know whether to be pleased that he wouldn't be spending the next few weeks melding with a Vulcan granny, or to be annoyed. Was he really this amazingly shallow and predictable?

"I have always had your best interests in mind," Spock said.

Jim glared at him and stepped towards the door. "And what about her best interests? You don't think she'll be uncomfortable digging around in my brain?"

"She has extensive experience on Earth and with humans. Furthermore, she's Vulcan," Spock said, "I am sure she can handle herself."

"We were talking about her handling _me_," Jim said.

His first officer said nothing as he strode to catch up with him.

Jim was still annoyed. He tried to think of tribbles as they walked down the hall...he did that lately when he was out of sorts. There was something about the memory of the small fuzzy purring creatures that was soothing. For some reason he thought the tribbles may had caused a bit of trouble ...he just couldn't remember what.

**A/N:**

The first time I saw the movie I didn't think much of Kirk. But the second time I almost liked him more than Spock. He is just…really damaged. And trying to do better. Also, he doesn't have Vulcan super strength or speed…or brain. He is more human.

Anyway…reviews are the only way I get paid. So if you like (or don't) please drop me a line.


	15. The Gift Part 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own Spock, Kirk, McCoy, Uhura or Starfleet**

*****Uh-oh...T'Quill is NOT T'Quilloc from Descartes. I should have made their names more distinct. Sorry!

**The Gift: Part 2**

T'Quill sat on a mat in the captain's quarters. Her knees nearly touching his. He wore a Terran track suit. She wore the heavy Vulcan robes she was resigned to wearing.

The man sat very still, his eyes bright blue eyes in the low light where midnight navy now, staring directly at her own. She noticed his pulse rate was elevated. He breathed a little too quickly. He was afraid...although his face was as emotionless as a Vulcan.

"Are you certain that you want this, Captain?" She always made absolutely sure. It was an intense experience, especially for humans, since they were not trained to hide their thoughts.

"Yeah, let's get this over with," He replied taking a deep breath.

"Very well."

Lifting her hand to his face she touched his meld points and recited the ancient rite. "My mind to your mind, my thoughts to your thoughts..."

T'Quill slipped into the cloud that was her patient's thoughts and emotions.

...and felt helpless.

I need them. I can't be captain without them. But I can't be captain with them either...everything is tangled up. Keep my eyes on her eyes. Beautiful full lips really need to be kissed...crime against the galaxy if they haven't been....God damn it Spock set me up. Sorry about that.

...she felt embarrassment. Then resolve. I shouldn't be ashamed of things beyond my control...you're too beautiful...

She concentrated and whispered into his mind, "Don't be embarrassed, Captain. It is a normal physiological response."

"Jim," he whispered back.

"Jim," she agreed.

T'Quill concentrated again...and brought the two of them into a space that was both their minds at once. In that space she created a dark room without furniture or windows, so it was just him and her on a mat. She dropped her hand from his face. They were in the meld, there was no need for physical contact here.

In this mental room she put a light between them that shone from nowhere...there was also another light. A blue light flicker that glowed off in a corner...

Jim looked up and around. "Where are we -- my mind or yours?"

"Ours," she said, noting the play on _'my place or yours_' with some satisfaction.

She felt Jim notice her appreciation at his play on words. Felt his momentary puzzlement, and his decision to ignore it. "This is a lot different than my last mind meld. Spock, old Spock, wasn't with me. I was him looking at the younger me, or I was me looking at the younger him...but we were never really together like this."

"I am a much stronger telepath," T'Quill responded.

Jim looked over at the light blue flicker. "That's him over there, isn't it? I don't know what he is thinking...but I always know he's alive and he knows I'm alive."

T'Quill looked at the flicker. "Yes. Jim, you never have to get rid of that."

"Really?" He asked and she felt a small burst of hopefulness.

"Really," she answered, "Now, if you excuse me."

T'Quill concentrated again and slipped her mental self into a Terran style gray track suit much like the sort he was wearing, but high necked and not pushed up at the sleeves. It helped her to focus if her mental self was wearing comfortable clothes. The robes scratched at her neck and wrists.

She felt a nudge in her mind. That was odd. Humans didn't usually do that.

"Uhura told me I could bump back. It seems fair," Jim said. "You are wearing the robes to appear the proper Vulcan in public lately..."

"Yes, but my choice in attire has nothing to do with our purpose here today."

"Oh, yeah," he said.

She felt the fear return. And then rebelliousness...Suddenly from the blackness small furry creatures half the size of Terran footballs began to rain down on both of them. They were purring softly in a way that was extraordinarily soothing.

"Ha!" Jim said happily as the clean Spartan floor T'Quill had created was carpeted with furry bodies. "This _is_ part of my mind." He happily scooped up a few small furry creatures and put them in his lap.

"Tribbles," Jim explained. "They help when I'm stressed."

One of the tribbles landed squarely on top of T'Quill's head. No doubt something Jim had planned. She reached up and brought it down to study it closely. "Fascinating," she said before she could stop herself.

Jim squirmed, "Whoa, that tickles!"

And then he immediately began thinking about other things he would consider doing to her that he would find fascinating...

T'Quill let herself remain perfectly neutral. She had actually handled much worse, and his mental passes were unintentional.

"Yeah, they are unintentional!" Jim said. "The whole Vulcan, don't think about it if you don't want to share it thing...how the Hell does that work? I mean, to even think not to think about it you would have thought about it and..." He stopped and his mental self took a deep breath. He held up a tribble. "You like them?"

T'Quill let him feel the genuine peace and well being the little furry creatures brought to her. "Yes, but I am more intrigued by the way you have taken control of this psychic situation you find uncomfortable. Humans don't normally do this."

"I hope you don't mind," he said stroking a mental tribble and putting one atop his head.

"You do not really care if I mind." T'Quill said.

He shrugged. "No, use trying to lie here. No, I don't really care if you do mind. I don't like feeling invaded. I should be allowed some defenses."

"I agree. To the extent that it does not interfere with our work I find it refreshing and healthy." T'Quill responded.

"Thank you," he said.

She could feel his genuine relief. Which turned into something like affection, which turned into...

"Whoops," said Jim.

"I am not embarrassed." Her mental self stood up, "Let's take a quick walk through your memories shall we?"

Jim stood up beside her. She felt his apprehension. The tribbles disappeared.

"We are not going to erase or move anything, this is just an exploratory venture," she assured him.

His mental self nodded. "Okay, let's go."

x x x x x x x x x

The scene changed and suddenly Jim found himself and T'Quill without physical form and merged as one. He was seeing what she was seeing. And thinking mostly what she was thinking...she could still hide a bit...which was unfair.

"But will keep us on task," T'Quill said. Or the T'Quill part of himself said. It was very confusing.

She'd given them one physical manifestation. They were light...

"So you don't feel completely discombobulated."

Jim couldn't help but notice how really weird this was...

"It always is. Let's get going..." said T'Quill. Or thought T'Quill. Jim wasn't sure.

And suddenly he and T'Quill were inside Jim's other self being beaten by the other Spock during Pon Farr. They could feel the fatigue in his other self's muscles, the fear...and anger, but not directed at Spock, never at Spock.

And suddenly he was trying to touch Spock's hand through glass...and switched again and he was looking at his other self through glass.

They heard, "The good of the many outweigh the good of the few." And then, "I am and forever shall be your friend." Was that in another life or this one?

Then they were himself, this self, and Spock was trying to kill them on the bridge of the Enterprise. Jim's stomach sank at the memory of feeling like the biggest dick in the galaxy for talking about Spock's mother...

The scene changed and old Spock was saying, "Believe me Jim, I am emotionally compromised..."

Then Jim and T'Quill were were racing towards the bridge, full of panic. They knew what the lightening storm was...

Tumbling away from that they were at a table talking to a mysterious man with long hair. Jim felt admiration, distrust, saw his first officer raise an eyebrow, just _knew_ that Bones didn't like the guy...

"I can't remember," he told T'Quill, "the whole story. I have all these little fragments of memories..."

"It is normal," T'Quill said. "Human memory isn't photographic like Vulcan memory."

Suddenly they were in the old Kirk's body looking at a woman Jim could not quite place slipping off a long dress and...

Jim tried to avert his mental eye, "But I do have a pornographic memory."

"Indeed," agreed T'Quill and Jim detected something...a sense of pleasant satisfaction...

"I just made a joke and you liked it." Jim said.

There was a pause in the memories.

Jim felt something that was...conspiratory from T'Quill. She said, "I appreciate human humor a great deal. It is an amazing adaptation for dealing with stress, deriving satisfaction from chaos and for bonding."

"You like a good joke," Jim said with awe.

"Yes."

And suddenly Jim could feel T'Quill's excitement. "A good joke is like a puzzle that comes together before I have realized that there were pieces there to begin with. For instance when you took the prefix photo and replaced it with porno..."

If Jim had a physical form at that moment he would have blinked in surprise. Vulcans had a sense of humor?

"It is an acquired taste." T'Quill said with some sorrow...and yes he was sure it was sorrow.

"...and I have seldom found another Vulcan who appreciates it. But we are getting off task..." T'Quill said.

Suddenly they were back to looking at a rather intimate piece of human female anatomy. Both he and T'Quill knew it was not love that had Jim's other self there at that moment. But Jim sensed no condemnation, or embarrassment. In fact there was only acceptance and a clinical detachment. T'Quill really was good at her job.

"Thank you, Jim." T'Quill said.

And then they were sucked into himself again. They were in front of Admiral Bennet listening dazed as the Admiral said, "It is imperative for civilian morale that you accept this commission...people want to know the man who saved the planet is out there..."

They were in the auditorium as he accepted the commission. Smiling. Feeling like an impostor.

It was no use hiding the truth from someone in your mind. "I'm too young to be a Captain, T'Quill. Too inexperienced. I told them...but they insisted. And maybe the universe is trying to correct itself, maybe I'm _supposed_ to be Captain because my messed up memories have to save us...or maybe that is just narcissism...I didn't know what the right thing to do was."

"If you were a narcissist you would not have any doubts," T'Quill said.

Her words made Jim feel a slight bit better.

"It is only the truth, Jim. But you are welcome."

Jim's non-corporeal self sighed. "They gave me this exploratory mission because they see it as sort of a fluff post, a chance for us to work out the bugs on this new boat we're on...they don't expect anything to really happen...the ships with real captains are watching the Romulans."

And then the auditorium faded and they were tumbling in bed with an Orion woman, who was not Gaila at all. Nice in some ways like Gaila, but in other ways...

"Batshit crazy," Jim said. "Can't quite remember what she did though..."

Tumbling from that scene they were stroking a Vulcan lyre and an older Uhura was singing and Jim...no Spock, old Spock...was so happy...

Gaila was suddenly underneath him...them...because T'Quill was here too. Gaila was saying, "I think I'm in love with you, Jim."

An older Bones was talking to a human woman, Spock's mom. Laughing about a pet...

A little farm girl with blue gray eyes and blonde hair not very smart but so sweet and...

Being Spock. Deeply concerned. His other self had vanished mysteriously...

Reaching for Doctor McCoy...

A massacre. Death. He was so young...

"My other self, he saw something, survived something terrible. And still went on to be an incredible guy," said Jim.

T'Quill did not respond, instead they were suddenly beaming aboard the Narada, untying Captain Pike.

Arguing with Spock, this Spock, in this time line. "We have to rescue Earth...

Another woman...Jim couldn't remember her name, or even if it had been his other self or him. He suddenly remembered T'Quill's presence.

"Umm...my other self and I had at least one thing in common," he commented as they lay back exhausted on the sheets.

"I believe you may have had many things in common, Jim."

"Yeah but..." He suddenly felt embarrassed again.

That little Iowa farm girl, what was her name?

"Your sexual behavior is in the range of normal. Perhaps we should start at the beginning..."

And suddenly T'Quill and Jim were helplessly suspended in midair, limbs flailing, their small child hands grasping larger hands holding them aloft by the front of their jacket. Jim could smell the alcohol...he knew what came next. Their body hit a wall and slipped towards the floor. And the hands came down again...

Jim switched the scene; he didn't even wait for T'Quill to take over. He tried to hold onto another memory -- or was it a fantasy? A man holding him aloft, smiling, and the fleeting feeling of utter happiness...

...He couldn't hold it.

The vision changed and it was T'Quill and him again in the dark room of their minds, on the mat, the light between them, the blue flicker in the distance. T'Quill was still in the track suit. Jim didn't know why he thought that _was_ pertinent somehow...

There were no more tribbles here now. He felt himself breathing heavily.

"It is best to end the meld when we are both calm," the T'Quill on the mat in front of him said.

"Okay," said Jim, "Give me a minute."

He imagined tribbles again. They popped up on the floor around them and in their laps...

He closed his eyes. Change the subject. Get away from himself...

"So, T'Quill, you must be pretty busy, since the fall of Vulcan," Jim said taking a deep breath and massaging a temple.

"Yes, I have been."

"And you must have a list of appointments lined up into the next decade," Jim said, not really paying attention to his own words.

"No, I do not," T'Quill said.

For some reason this made Jim's stomach clench ever so slightly. It was just wrong...

Why? He mentally nudged against her. He idly picked up a mental tribble and stroked it.

"This is my last assignment. After this I will return to Vulcan and be bonded." The mental image of T'Quill blinked...

She was surprised. She hadn't meant to reveal that to Jim and he knew it...and he also knew that she didn't want to be bonded. Suddenly, the image of Susan Lee's battered body flashed through his mind. He didn't mean to put it there, it just unbidden. He regretted it, even if it had been unintentional.

"It will not be like that Jim, I am stronger telepathically than Susan," said T'Quill in her perfect hypnotic inflection-less tone. "And physically my strength is at least comparable to a human male."

Jim's mind couldn't stop itself. The image of Spock above him holding his throat flashed in his mind.

"It is not your concern," said T'Quill.

Jim felt nothing from her at all; his mental self scowled. The seed of concern had already been planted.

"Really," said T'Quill, "It is not."

She was…frightened…very frightened, and Jim knew it…and realized she knew he knew it. And it wasn't just the bonding it was…

Bringing her hand up to touch his face the mental image of T'Quill said, "We should break the meld now."

x x x x x x x x

Emerging from the meld T'Quill became aware again of the cool cheek beneath her fingers.

It was unfortunate that he'd seen. And it was unfortunate that she had been ordered by the Vulcan High Command to undertake this high profile case. She was so obviously emotionally compromised.

Of course, she'd wanted it, hadn't she? And not just because she'd been requested by Amanda's son, Spock.

It could not be helped now. Jim knew. She would try to move on.

Pulling her hand away she said, "I can help you."

Jim didn't say anything for a moment. He looked down at his hands and tilted his head. She was strong enough that she could read emotions at this distance without touch if she tried...but that would be a violation of trust.

At last he said, "Will you need to erase the memories?"

"No, I do not think so. But we need to put them into context," T'Quill responded, glad they were talking about him and not her.

"And how do we do that?" Jim asked.

"We review all of them together." T'Quill responded. "The ones that are from your other self's perspective, or from the other Spock's I will help you construct into a memory that is not in the first person."

"So it will be like remembering a holo?"

"If all goes well, yes. You'll still have access to all the data, but you will not be as apt to confuse the memories with your own," T'Quill responded.

He rubbed the back of his neck. T'Quill noticed his heart rate had become elevated and his cheeks had turned notably pinker.

"All my memories?" He asked looking at her.

Ah, yes. "There is no need to be embarrassed. I have worked in human minds before. I have, _seen it all_, as you humans say."

He looked down at his hands again. "Well, I guess I have to do it."

"It is your choice..."

"There is no choice -- if I want to pursue an occupation of authority, or Hell, even one that would require me to operate heavy machinery."

T'Quill wished she was capable of smiling. "That was a clever joke. I have read those warnings on the back of human pharmaceuticals myself."

Jim looked up at her for a long moment.

"It's a messed up situation," Jim said.

"Your multiple memory disorder? Or the fact that you've been commissioned as captain without sufficient experience?" T'Quill asked.

"Both. But I wasn't thinking about either of those things," Jim replied.

Oh no.

Scowling he said, "I was thinking of the fact that you're going to be bonded to a man, that...correct me if I'm wrong; you don't love, have never even met...and who will probably be in Pon Farr."

His voice reverberated with tension. T'Quill recognized his emotion. Righteous human anger...she loved to see and feel it in human memories. She almost wished their minds were linked. But then he would know how desperate the situation she'd be called to amend would be.

"Do not concern yourself with this, Captain."

"Too late. You're setting yourself up to be..." he looked away.

She knew what he was going to say. "It is not rape if it is consensual, Captain. And I am a very strong telepath, it will not be as bad for me. I will be able to guide the man through his Pon Farr..."

"Even I, a non-telepathic human, was able to telepathically maneuver this...situation out of you. How can you be sure that you'll be able to deal with a man in Pon Farr?" His eyes were searching her own.

"A man in Pon Farr will not be attempting any subtle telepathic maneuvers, trust me," T'Quill responded. Her heart was dropping. She wished he would make another joke. Wished she had mastered that human art.

"You don't have to do it. You do have a choice..."

"If I do not do it..." She began.

"Some one else will," Jim said.

"I cannot put that burden on someone else." T'Quill kept her voice even; closed her eyes. Maybe if she explained completely he would understand? "Because I am such an extremely strong telepath -- and so adept at manipulating mental environments...I am being saved."

"Saved?" He said in a low voice.

"Saved for the next special case -- the next case that will be extremely difficult even for Vulcan females to handle. I do not know who I am to be bonded to because no one knows...yet." She kept her eyes steady on his. "All I know is that it will be the next Vulcan male of significance who finds himself, unexpectedly, deep in the dangerous stage of Pon Farr that we call,_ Plak tow._"

**A/N:**  
Reviews are the only way we get paid!

In response to Avrils comment -- why Vulcan females wouldn't be as strong as Vulcan males. They are depicted as smaller, lighter and softer (more body fat than the males). Less mass/more body fat means less strength. It also means they require less energy, and have greater energy stores. This is a VERY logical adaptation for the gender that has to carry and nurture young. Less energy req'd by the female = greater energy for baby.

It's most likely the reason human females are slightly smaller and 'weaker'.


	16. Accessories of Choice

**SORRY FOR THE DOUBLE POSTING!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Spock or Uhura.  
**

So "The Gift" just got too long....and then I started "The Vulcan." I may come back to "The Gift", but if I do it will probably feature Nyota and Spock's bonding as well as Kirk's memory fixing. I do love T'Quill…

Anyway, this is just a short little chapter on things going on in the galaxy since the Fall of Vulcan once Pon Farr is discovered by the galaxy at large. Told from the POV of Spock and Uhura's human friend Patrick -- just for an outside human perspective. If you want to know about the meeting they're talking about its in "The Vulcan" -- Chapter 3 "Goodbyes"

…also, if you like action…there is a lot more of it in "The Vulcan"…starting in Chapter 5…  
**  
Accessories of Choice**

Commander Patrick O'Hara shook the water off of his sleeves as he stepped under the umbrella his friend Professor Toshi Matsumura was holding. Patrick hated the San Francisco monsoon season.

"I told you to bring an umbrella," Toshi said.

"Yeah, yeah..." grumbled Patrick. His friend Toshi never forgot things like umbrellas. Patrick hated that almost as much as monsoons.

"Ah, look there they are," said Toshi nodding across the street.

And there they were, both in civilian clothes...wearing raincoats, sharing an umbrella. Spock probably never forgot umbrellas either...

How long had it been...five years now? Not seven years...had Spock gone through _It_?

Across the street Uhura flashed her patented melt your heart full face smile and waved, Spock nodded and the two of them began to walk in Toshi and Patrick's direction.

So much had changed in the past five years. Vulcan was destroyed. Vulcan dominance of the Federation was over...but what was more, the Vulcan reputation as the logical moral soul of the Federation was gone. Where once they were viewed as bastions of unmitigated integrity now they were seen as something different -- dishonest...sometimes dangerous.

But it was Spock. He'd saved Earth. And more important he was Toshi and Patrick's friend...besides, Uhura was smart as a whip. She wouldn't put up with any nonsense from anyone, much less a husband.

Would she? They said the bonding mind meld could do strange things to you. Had they been bonded when Spock left Earth that first time? Certainly they had been something...

"Patrick!" said Uhura. She darted from under the umbrella Spock held and caught him in a big hug. Patrick returned it awkwardly and looked over her shoulder at Spock. They said the last thing you should ever do was come between a Vulcan and their bond mate....

Spock met his gaze for a moment, stiffened infinitesimally and then turned to Toshi.

"Thank you for joining us for lunch today, Toshi...Patrick," Spock said.

Uhura let Patrick go and smiled, "We are so glad you're coming to the wedding! But we wanted to thank you personally, for letting us see each other that night..."

Patrick felt himself go warm...because, well, he was a sap. He looked down at the ground. He heard Toshi cough.

"It was nothing," Patrick said.

"It was not nothing," said Spock. "Your reputation and career could have been compromised."

That was true. Taking a cadet to see her former commanding officer who was under observation so they would have a last chance for...well, Patrick and Toshi had discreetly left the room, he didn't know exactly what for. A quick mind meld?

"_Eh.._.so you're getting married, even though you're already bonded..." Toshi said, probably as anxious as Patrick to change the subject.

Uhura put her hand on Spock's. Patrick blinked. She could do that now…It was such an easy gesture...he'd only seen them touch one a few other times before…and except for that one time it always seemed nearly accidental...a brush of shoulders, a slightly intoxicated Uhura briefly touching Spock while she told a story…

"When we bonded there wasn't an official New Vulcan," Uhura said, "And although it was done on a Starship it was overseen by a Vulcan healer unaffiliated with any official state, not the captain...so our union is still unofficial."

Spock raised an eyebrow. "And she won't let me wear the ring unless we 'make it legal' as they say."

Ah the wedding ring...most male Vulcans wore wedding rings these days if they were bonded. A ring told others they were not a threat; a ring said I have someone who will take care of me when the time comes. A ring...

"Wedding rings..." Spock said raising his eyebrow again, "Are the accessories of choice for discerning male Vulcans everywhere."

**A/N:**  
Cheers! I still have Spock's first and second Pon Farr's to write about for this series...or maybe I will make them their own things. Haven't decided yet.

Reviews are how Fan Fic authors get paid!


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